***I was going to publish on Thanksgiving, but didn't... obviously I suck***
This year my Thankful list is long. I have three wonderful children who make me laugh, give me the opportunity to exercise patience and strengthen my ability to show devotion and intense love. I have married my best friend, the only person who makes me laugh when I am so angry I could punch someone, the only person who has ever supported me not matter what I say or do. We have a house we have made a home together. I am never alone in this life because I have a few friends I know will be with me until my hair is blue and my teeth are in a jar. And we all have our health. I am living the life I love, and for that I am Thankful.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Update
I have totally sucked at blogging for the last 10 days. First I got sick, which is not allowed in Mommyhood. Then we traveled 2200 miles to see family for the Thanksgiving Holiday. Just in case you are wondering it was 39 1/2 hours in the car round trip, 5 of which Mighty Mouse screamed non stop. Also, I had some minor computer issues which I chose to ignore until we got home. But now we are home! So I DO have some catching up to do, but hopefully I will be able to put up the 3 days of posts I missed and regularly scheduled posts. Bear with me! Also Christmas is in 26 days, 2 hours and 9 minutes. You're welcome.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Road Trip Lessons
There are a few things you need to know before traveling over 400 miles with your kids in the car.
1. They will cry for McDonalds every time they see one. And you will give in at every meal time because they give toys. Which will keep them quiet for 30 minutes.
2. Legos, Play Dough and Puzzels are awesome. But not on a road trip.
3. The only thing more annoying than hearing "Are we there yet?" is "Mom I have to pee." Because you have to stop. And once they know you have to stop... they have to pee every twenty minutes.
4. You will spend half the trip telling them "Ok. I heard you. But there is nothing I can do about it right now!"
5. No matter how organized you are, you will a) not be able to get to what you need or b) you will have forgotten it.
6. You must wear sweatpants (or even better yoga pants) because your ass will grow an entire dress size in one trip. Because you are stopping at McDonalds every 4 hours.
But hugging the people you traveled twenty hours, seventeen happy meals, and countless pee breaks to see? Totally worth it.
1. They will cry for McDonalds every time they see one. And you will give in at every meal time because they give toys. Which will keep them quiet for 30 minutes.
2. Legos, Play Dough and Puzzels are awesome. But not on a road trip.
3. The only thing more annoying than hearing "Are we there yet?" is "Mom I have to pee." Because you have to stop. And once they know you have to stop... they have to pee every twenty minutes.
4. You will spend half the trip telling them "Ok. I heard you. But there is nothing I can do about it right now!"
5. No matter how organized you are, you will a) not be able to get to what you need or b) you will have forgotten it.
6. You must wear sweatpants (or even better yoga pants) because your ass will grow an entire dress size in one trip. Because you are stopping at McDonalds every 4 hours.
But hugging the people you traveled twenty hours, seventeen happy meals, and countless pee breaks to see? Totally worth it.
Road Trip To Do:
We are going on a road trip for Thanksgiving. The kids, my 24 year old cousin and myself will be driving to Chicago. The drive is almost 17 hours not including breaks for peeing, breastfeeding, eating and playing. I have been planning, sorting, listing and packing for three days. Wanna know what the list looks like? I thought so....
1. Wash winter clothes.
2. Pack Little Britches clothes.
3. Pack Mini Boots clothes.
4. Pack Mighty Mouse clothes... crap. He has no winter clothes.
5. Go Shopping for Mighty Mouse winter clothes.
6. Wash new winter clothes.
7. Pack Mighty Mouse clothes.
8. Repack Little Britches because I can not shop for clothes without buying her something new.
9. Wash my clothes.
10. Start to pack, remember that I have to take the car in before they close.
11. Take car in for oil change and tire rotation. Wish Super Boots was here to deal with car crap.
12. Clean car. Find 22 french fries, 2 half empty juice boxes, 67 cents. Wish even more Super Boots could take over car stuff.
13. Pack toys for kids in the car.
14. End up sorting all of toys they own just to find the Leapster. Realize half their toys are broken, out grown or annoying.
15. Bring sorted toys to Goodwill.
16. End up buying more toys at Goodwill
17. Pack kids toys.
18. Pack for myself. Realize everything I want to bring doesn't fit or is dirty.
19. Wash my clothes again.
20. Pack snacks for the road.
21. Go to the grocery store because we have nothing that qualifies as "road food."
22. Realize I left my laundry in the wash and now it has a slight oder. Re-wash.
22. Pack snacks.
23. Clean house.
24. Find 34 things I need to bring on the trip and repack.
25. Pack my clothes, finally.
26. Load car. Realize I suck at this and kinda hate Super Boots for being gone. (Because he totally would rather be there than going to see family for Thanksgiving with his family).
27. Have a nagging feeling I am forgetting something but know that can not be possible as I have almost the entire contents of my house loaded into the mini van.
28. Get Gas.
29. Remember I did forget something. Shoes.
30. Feel thankful for Walmart, get shoes, more snacks and a Christmas decoration for the car.
31. Put on Christmas music and try to forget that we are going 1100 miles for Thanksgiving with three kids... and no Daddy.
Yeah, I love road trips... once we are on the road that is.
1. Wash winter clothes.
2. Pack Little Britches clothes.
3. Pack Mini Boots clothes.
4. Pack Mighty Mouse clothes... crap. He has no winter clothes.
5. Go Shopping for Mighty Mouse winter clothes.
6. Wash new winter clothes.
7. Pack Mighty Mouse clothes.
8. Repack Little Britches because I can not shop for clothes without buying her something new.
9. Wash my clothes.
10. Start to pack, remember that I have to take the car in before they close.
11. Take car in for oil change and tire rotation. Wish Super Boots was here to deal with car crap.
12. Clean car. Find 22 french fries, 2 half empty juice boxes, 67 cents. Wish even more Super Boots could take over car stuff.
13. Pack toys for kids in the car.
14. End up sorting all of toys they own just to find the Leapster. Realize half their toys are broken, out grown or annoying.
15. Bring sorted toys to Goodwill.
16. End up buying more toys at Goodwill
17. Pack kids toys.
18. Pack for myself. Realize everything I want to bring doesn't fit or is dirty.
19. Wash my clothes again.
20. Pack snacks for the road.
21. Go to the grocery store because we have nothing that qualifies as "road food."
22. Realize I left my laundry in the wash and now it has a slight oder. Re-wash.
22. Pack snacks.
23. Clean house.
24. Find 34 things I need to bring on the trip and repack.
25. Pack my clothes, finally.
26. Load car. Realize I suck at this and kinda hate Super Boots for being gone. (Because he totally would rather be there than going to see family for Thanksgiving with his family).
27. Have a nagging feeling I am forgetting something but know that can not be possible as I have almost the entire contents of my house loaded into the mini van.
28. Get Gas.
29. Remember I did forget something. Shoes.
30. Feel thankful for Walmart, get shoes, more snacks and a Christmas decoration for the car.
31. Put on Christmas music and try to forget that we are going 1100 miles for Thanksgiving with three kids... and no Daddy.
Yeah, I love road trips... once we are on the road that is.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Meltdown City
Today I took a trip to Meltdown city. Population Little Britches and Mini Boots. Oh...and the entire school... plus every child's parents. Yup I was that Mom today. The one whose kids are loosing it in front of everyone. It was horrible. As you know the kids have been a little under the weather. Since they had been home for three days, I made the executive decision to send them to school. After all it was the Thanksgiving program, and I didn't want them to miss it over a cold.
During the program they did really well. Mini Boots got a case of stage fright and refused to sing but did all the hand motions. Little Britches lit up when she saw me and sang louder than any other child. Their costumes we darling and they couldn't have been more adorable. But as soon as I picked them up from their classrooms, the melting began. The worst of it came just as we were in line for the luncheon. Mini Boots was crying for a cookie, and Little Britches began playing following the leader with the naughty kid whose parents don't care. So when I told her to stand still she burst into tears and chimed in on Mini Boot's need for an cookie right now. I'm in line, both are crying, and then the baby starts wailing. Perfect. Of course, I am like we are outta here. No lunch, no cookie, lets just go.
Just as I was scooping them up and running for the door, someone took pity on me and my poor parenting skills. Thank God for compassionate teachers. One came up and offered a helping hand, got the kids cooled down and let me tend to the baby. And Thank God for cousins. Because she got the kids food, drinks and the coveted cookie. Even though it was all a disaster, I am accepting that I need some help, and learning to take it when it's offered. And that's ok. Especially when you live in Meltdown City.
During the program they did really well. Mini Boots got a case of stage fright and refused to sing but did all the hand motions. Little Britches lit up when she saw me and sang louder than any other child. Their costumes we darling and they couldn't have been more adorable. But as soon as I picked them up from their classrooms, the melting began. The worst of it came just as we were in line for the luncheon. Mini Boots was crying for a cookie, and Little Britches began playing following the leader with the naughty kid whose parents don't care. So when I told her to stand still she burst into tears and chimed in on Mini Boot's need for an cookie right now. I'm in line, both are crying, and then the baby starts wailing. Perfect. Of course, I am like we are outta here. No lunch, no cookie, lets just go.
Just as I was scooping them up and running for the door, someone took pity on me and my poor parenting skills. Thank God for compassionate teachers. One came up and offered a helping hand, got the kids cooled down and let me tend to the baby. And Thank God for cousins. Because she got the kids food, drinks and the coveted cookie. Even though it was all a disaster, I am accepting that I need some help, and learning to take it when it's offered. And that's ok. Especially when you live in Meltdown City.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Put Those Cars in Row Again and I Will Panic
Every time anyone puts anything in a row around here I FREAK OUT. Did you know that lining things up is an early sign of Autism? Well it is. And since I have a son with speech and language issues (also an indicator) I have an eagle eye for toys lined up. Do all kids do this? Yes. It's called categorizing and is an important part of development, but the thing about having a kid with any kind of disorder means you are living in fear that they will uncover something else. Or that another one of your children will have it, or something worse.
One of the bigger fears I hold is having a child on "The Spectrum." Autism and Asperger's are scary. They are scary because there are a lot of theories about how you get them, and theories about what to do once you have them, but it's not a direct road. There is no A+B = success, no cure. So the Mom's are left to try on therapies until they find one that fits, and hopefully helps. It's daunting. My heart goes out to the Mom's who support their kids through this maze. They aren't just trying to find help, they are trying to unlock the chains around their own children. On a much smaller scale, I know how hard that can be.
When my kids don't answer me after I call their name, or they are avoiding eye contact, I get a little surge of anxiety. God forbid one of them starts flapping their hands (aka self stimulating). I know that getting the diagnosis is the easy (emotionally debilitating) part, but then you can more on and start fighting for your child (less crying with your family, more crying in Dr's offices). But I am always asking for reassurance Mini Boots is not included in the 1 of every 94 boys diagnosed. That number is even higher for military families. Although most likely it would have presented itself already, and thankfully has not, I have another little boy coming up in the ranks. I feel the need for continued vigilance.
In my life I have had a couple of friends whose children clearly had something going on, but they, the parents, were in denial. They couldn't admit it, thought the child would grow out of it, and made excuses not to address whatever it was. But in that scenario the only one punished is the child. If they are not diagnosed, they can not receive help. And I refuse to be one of those Mom's who lets fear paralyze them. If you think something might be going on, put on your big girl panties and deal, because the only one who will pay for your denial is that sweet helpless child of yours.
One of the bigger fears I hold is having a child on "The Spectrum." Autism and Asperger's are scary. They are scary because there are a lot of theories about how you get them, and theories about what to do once you have them, but it's not a direct road. There is no A+B = success, no cure. So the Mom's are left to try on therapies until they find one that fits, and hopefully helps. It's daunting. My heart goes out to the Mom's who support their kids through this maze. They aren't just trying to find help, they are trying to unlock the chains around their own children. On a much smaller scale, I know how hard that can be.
When my kids don't answer me after I call their name, or they are avoiding eye contact, I get a little surge of anxiety. God forbid one of them starts flapping their hands (aka self stimulating). I know that getting the diagnosis is the easy (emotionally debilitating) part, but then you can more on and start fighting for your child (less crying with your family, more crying in Dr's offices). But I am always asking for reassurance Mini Boots is not included in the 1 of every 94 boys diagnosed. That number is even higher for military families. Although most likely it would have presented itself already, and thankfully has not, I have another little boy coming up in the ranks. I feel the need for continued vigilance.
In my life I have had a couple of friends whose children clearly had something going on, but they, the parents, were in denial. They couldn't admit it, thought the child would grow out of it, and made excuses not to address whatever it was. But in that scenario the only one punished is the child. If they are not diagnosed, they can not receive help. And I refuse to be one of those Mom's who lets fear paralyze them. If you think something might be going on, put on your big girl panties and deal, because the only one who will pay for your denial is that sweet helpless child of yours.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Mom Jeans=Bad. Mom Bag=Awesome.
There are some things that Mom's are known for. Some are good, and some are not. Like Mom Jeans. We all have friends who wear them, and they are just bad. I mean the high waist? The tapered leg? There is no getting around it, they are horrible. And they just scream I am Mom, nothing more. There also is the Mom bag and we all need them, however they can be pretty bad too. But if you put a little effort into finding something stylish and functional, your bag will keep the Mommy under wraps and make you feel good about rocking it. I love mine.
I was never a big diaper bag girl. I used one for a few months afer I had Little Britches, but never loved it. Don't get me wrong it was exceptionally functional and my organizational side loved all the pockets, but I resisted using it long term. I needed a bag that looked like me. Sooner than most, I went back to my purse. Before kids I was used to carrying tiny little purses, so for christmas Super Boots got me a big, beautiful Coach bag. It doesn't look like a Mom bag, but it is. I love it and I still use it four years later. I have room for everything I could ever need. Or that you might need. Cause that's the thing about a Mom bag. Even in disguise, they contain all kinds of tricks to get several people through the day.
Sure I have your standard issue diapers, wipes and snacks. But my Mom bag also has Tide-to-Go mini (you all know how I feel about miniature things, in fact, lets just assume almost everything in the bag is miniature... cause it is) just in case you have a coffee dribble or a sweet potato spit up. And it has bandaids, ointment, ibuprofen and spare zip-locks for bloody wipes or poopey diapers. I have bows for Little Britches, and party packs of play dough, crayons and one tiny coloring book for the days we get stuck somewhere. Lolly pops for the rare bribe, not to mention a note pad for bloggy notes, five lip glosses, two lotions, Purell (this might be the only non miniature item, cause we got through that like crazy). I keep a manicure and sewing kit as well as a flashlight. It is all organized into a few cosmetic bags of varying sizes. I am pretty sure any Mommy emergency could be handled as long as I have my Mom bag.
So even if you hate anything that makes you look like a mom (Mini Van) the Mom bag is one I totally recommend embracing. Just find one that suits your non-Mommy inner sense of style. And when someone spills on their new blouse dig into your bag of tricks like the Mom that you are. Cause mom bags are awesome. What do you have in yours?
I was never a big diaper bag girl. I used one for a few months afer I had Little Britches, but never loved it. Don't get me wrong it was exceptionally functional and my organizational side loved all the pockets, but I resisted using it long term. I needed a bag that looked like me. Sooner than most, I went back to my purse. Before kids I was used to carrying tiny little purses, so for christmas Super Boots got me a big, beautiful Coach bag. It doesn't look like a Mom bag, but it is. I love it and I still use it four years later. I have room for everything I could ever need. Or that you might need. Cause that's the thing about a Mom bag. Even in disguise, they contain all kinds of tricks to get several people through the day.
Sure I have your standard issue diapers, wipes and snacks. But my Mom bag also has Tide-to-Go mini (you all know how I feel about miniature things, in fact, lets just assume almost everything in the bag is miniature... cause it is) just in case you have a coffee dribble or a sweet potato spit up. And it has bandaids, ointment, ibuprofen and spare zip-locks for bloody wipes or poopey diapers. I have bows for Little Britches, and party packs of play dough, crayons and one tiny coloring book for the days we get stuck somewhere. Lolly pops for the rare bribe, not to mention a note pad for bloggy notes, five lip glosses, two lotions, Purell (this might be the only non miniature item, cause we got through that like crazy). I keep a manicure and sewing kit as well as a flashlight. It is all organized into a few cosmetic bags of varying sizes. I am pretty sure any Mommy emergency could be handled as long as I have my Mom bag.
So even if you hate anything that makes you look like a mom (Mini Van) the Mom bag is one I totally recommend embracing. Just find one that suits your non-Mommy inner sense of style. And when someone spills on their new blouse dig into your bag of tricks like the Mom that you are. Cause mom bags are awesome. What do you have in yours?
Sickie Sweet Spot
I hate to admit it but I kinda enjoy it when my kids are under the weather. I feel badly for them, it's no fun to be ill, but it's so quiet. There is no fighting over toys, no running around the house playing tag. I can put on movies with no guilt. They want me to cuddle with them. I get a big pot of homemade soup going and while they are snuggled up in their blankets I read my book. It's such a nice change of pace from the crazy activity that is our usual lifestyle. I call this the sickie sweet spot.
God forbid they get the flu. If the kids have to flu you're lysoling everything, washing a mountain of puked on laundry and worrying about swine flu or whatever the newest strain of freaky flu that kills kids in twenty four hours is. This is the up all night, calling the dr at two am and counting the ounces of fluid they are consuming, not relaxing at all illness.
The cough sickness is also terrible. They usually don't feel too bad, and probably have a cold, but otherwise are basically ok. Except the they keep themselves up all night coughing. And since they are exhausted from being up all night, they are seriously grumpy. And sure they are well enough to play, but sound so horrible you hate to bring them anywhere. Cause you totally get the look from other Mom's. You know the one. The dagger eyes that say "Are you effing kidding me? That kid should not be out in public, what is wrong with you?"
But when they are just a little under the weather, it's kinda great. Nothing to major to worry about. No mountains of laundry. No up all night with worry. The kids only need to chill out and rest up. I try to enjoy it while it lasts, because it never lasts more that thirty six hours and by tomorrow we'll be back to the crazy busy life we lead. But today we're in the sickie sweet spot and it's gonna be quiet and cozy.
God forbid they get the flu. If the kids have to flu you're lysoling everything, washing a mountain of puked on laundry and worrying about swine flu or whatever the newest strain of freaky flu that kills kids in twenty four hours is. This is the up all night, calling the dr at two am and counting the ounces of fluid they are consuming, not relaxing at all illness.
The cough sickness is also terrible. They usually don't feel too bad, and probably have a cold, but otherwise are basically ok. Except the they keep themselves up all night coughing. And since they are exhausted from being up all night, they are seriously grumpy. And sure they are well enough to play, but sound so horrible you hate to bring them anywhere. Cause you totally get the look from other Mom's. You know the one. The dagger eyes that say "Are you effing kidding me? That kid should not be out in public, what is wrong with you?"
But when they are just a little under the weather, it's kinda great. Nothing to major to worry about. No mountains of laundry. No up all night with worry. The kids only need to chill out and rest up. I try to enjoy it while it lasts, because it never lasts more that thirty six hours and by tomorrow we'll be back to the crazy busy life we lead. But today we're in the sickie sweet spot and it's gonna be quiet and cozy.
Friday, November 12, 2010
That's What I'm Talking About
Little Britches is funny. She has attitude and spunk and says the funniest things, on a regular basis. Her quotes are pretty famous, and I thought today I'd share a few.
Me "Hey Little Britches, do you wanna go outside and ride bikes?"
LB "Uhhh yeah Mom! Thats what I'm talking about!"
Me "So what do you want from Santa this year?"
LB "A telescope"
Me "Where did you ever hear of a telescope?"
LB "One of the boys in my class has one."
Me "Well those are pretty hard to make, I don't know if Santa can make one at his workshop."
LB " *sigh* Mom, Santa can make Aaa-neee-thing. *eye roll* Duh."
Me "Mini Boots, come on, please listen, you need to put your clothes on."
Me under breath "what are we going to do with him?"
LB "Maaaybeee send him to the farm?"
LB "Mom, I am a Drama Queen right? Just like you are a Drama queen too... right?"
I love that girl. She's awesome. And.... that's what I'm talking about.
Me "Hey Little Britches, do you wanna go outside and ride bikes?"
LB "Uhhh yeah Mom! Thats what I'm talking about!"
Me "So what do you want from Santa this year?"
LB "A telescope"
Me "Where did you ever hear of a telescope?"
LB "One of the boys in my class has one."
Me "Well those are pretty hard to make, I don't know if Santa can make one at his workshop."
LB " *sigh* Mom, Santa can make Aaa-neee-thing. *eye roll* Duh."
Me "Mini Boots, come on, please listen, you need to put your clothes on."
Me under breath "what are we going to do with him?"
LB "Maaaybeee send him to the farm?"
LB "Mom, I am a Drama Queen right? Just like you are a Drama queen too... right?"
I love that girl. She's awesome. And.... that's what I'm talking about.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Veterans Day
Today all I can think about is how much I am missing my Super Boots. He is an amazing father, a wonderful life companion and has a generous, carefree spirit. He sacrifices so much and I am proud to call him my husband. Super Boots is my best friend... and damn he looks good in that fight suit. We can't wait to have him home.
***Please thank a vet today because "freedom don't come free" ***
***Please thank a vet today because "freedom don't come free" ***
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
More Fail
After hearing my daughter shout "I FINALLY GOT MY SEVEN STICKERS FOR TURNING IN MY HOMEWORK! FINALLY!" at the top of her lungs in the pick up line I felt sufficiently embarrassed for one day. I was, again, beet red. But I figured well that's over. Now I can continue to be the awesome Mom I am right?
Wrong. Later that day we had a long overdue play date with one of my Mommy friends. She is super nice, very sweet and her kids are bilingual! I have known her for a very long time, and she has always been a Mom. She had her first right before we met. Now that I am in the Mom's club, its a lot of fun to hang out. So we woke up early from Naps, packed up, went down to her house and hung out. We had cake (from Costa Rica *squee*) and coffee, the kids played well, and I learned a little more spanish. It was a wonderful afternoon and I had almost forgotten that I suck at Mommyhood. When we got home the big kids were starving and Might Mouse was crying but I somehow managed to get them all fed, bathed, pj'd and almost tucked in before it hit me. We left turtle.
Leaving a lovie behind is a ten on the freak out scale for kids and Mom alike. I freak out because I know they won't sleep well with out it, they are giving me dagger eyes because I forgot (uhh, you did too kiddo) and they literally worry what will happen to their precious. Will we ever see Turtle again? Will he be safe? Will I die without him for one whole night? It's only happened to me one other time, we drove back, got lovie and set up a new rule. No lovies in the car. But I broke the rule because Mini Boots got up early and was a crabby pants. Now we were both paying for it. Because it was late, there was nothing to be done for the night, but deal. So we continued to pay for another hour until he eventually crashed.
Right after dropping Little Britches off at school this morning we went to pick up turtle. Mini Boots was reunited with turtle and it was like a slow motion love scene (cue the cheesy music and wind blown hair). The no lovies in the car rule has been reinstated. And I learned the spanish word for turtle, tortuga. So even though this week is like one never ending fail at Mommyhood... there's that.
Wrong. Later that day we had a long overdue play date with one of my Mommy friends. She is super nice, very sweet and her kids are bilingual! I have known her for a very long time, and she has always been a Mom. She had her first right before we met. Now that I am in the Mom's club, its a lot of fun to hang out. So we woke up early from Naps, packed up, went down to her house and hung out. We had cake (from Costa Rica *squee*) and coffee, the kids played well, and I learned a little more spanish. It was a wonderful afternoon and I had almost forgotten that I suck at Mommyhood. When we got home the big kids were starving and Might Mouse was crying but I somehow managed to get them all fed, bathed, pj'd and almost tucked in before it hit me. We left turtle.
Leaving a lovie behind is a ten on the freak out scale for kids and Mom alike. I freak out because I know they won't sleep well with out it, they are giving me dagger eyes because I forgot (uhh, you did too kiddo) and they literally worry what will happen to their precious. Will we ever see Turtle again? Will he be safe? Will I die without him for one whole night? It's only happened to me one other time, we drove back, got lovie and set up a new rule. No lovies in the car. But I broke the rule because Mini Boots got up early and was a crabby pants. Now we were both paying for it. Because it was late, there was nothing to be done for the night, but deal. So we continued to pay for another hour until he eventually crashed.
Right after dropping Little Britches off at school this morning we went to pick up turtle. Mini Boots was reunited with turtle and it was like a slow motion love scene (cue the cheesy music and wind blown hair). The no lovies in the car rule has been reinstated. And I learned the spanish word for turtle, tortuga. So even though this week is like one never ending fail at Mommyhood... there's that.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Epic Fail: Mommyhood
I am seriously failing at this Mommyhood game. Last week I committed to feeding Mighty Mouse breakfast, and didn't actually do it until sunday morning. I forgot to put napkins in the lunch boxes, again. I almost loose my mind at 5:30 pm... every night. (For reals. It's like a set your watch by the near Mommy break down daily activity). And today I found out that Little Britches homework is not an opportunity to practice at home but a graded assignment. Which we have not turned in. All year.
Why it didn't occur to me that homework was to be turned in is beyond me. I am, in fact, familiar with the concept of homework. I did actually go to school and get assigned homework myself. I have actually talked to other Mom's who discuss homework and that it does have due dates. But for some reason when she came home with homework I thought "Ohhh fun! How thoughtful of her teachers to give us extra work to do at home... and never turn in." Today my FIVE year old finally said to me, "Can I bring my work to school today?" And I said "Sure." I put it in her bag and sent her off without a second thought. After school her Teacher came up to me and said "Little Britches was really excited to be able to turn in her work. Thanks for remembering." I am pretty sure I heard "For the first time ever you lazy terrible Mom" under her breath. Beet red I stammered out "Uhhhh, I didn't realize it was graded, I am so sorry. Really sorry. Oh my Lord. But we have all of it, I mean we totally did all of it, and uh, I mean I just didn't realize... I'm really so, so sorry."
Tonight we will be digging out her work, praying I didn't accidentally throw any of it away and sheepishly handing in a huge pile of work tomorrow. My only hope is the teacher takes pity on my poor daughter and backdates some stickers, because she obviously doesn't deserve to be punished for having a rotten (and also dumb) mother. So yeah. I am failing at Mommyhood.
Why it didn't occur to me that homework was to be turned in is beyond me. I am, in fact, familiar with the concept of homework. I did actually go to school and get assigned homework myself. I have actually talked to other Mom's who discuss homework and that it does have due dates. But for some reason when she came home with homework I thought "Ohhh fun! How thoughtful of her teachers to give us extra work to do at home... and never turn in." Today my FIVE year old finally said to me, "Can I bring my work to school today?" And I said "Sure." I put it in her bag and sent her off without a second thought. After school her Teacher came up to me and said "Little Britches was really excited to be able to turn in her work. Thanks for remembering." I am pretty sure I heard "For the first time ever you lazy terrible Mom" under her breath. Beet red I stammered out "Uhhhh, I didn't realize it was graded, I am so sorry. Really sorry. Oh my Lord. But we have all of it, I mean we totally did all of it, and uh, I mean I just didn't realize... I'm really so, so sorry."
Tonight we will be digging out her work, praying I didn't accidentally throw any of it away and sheepishly handing in a huge pile of work tomorrow. My only hope is the teacher takes pity on my poor daughter and backdates some stickers, because she obviously doesn't deserve to be punished for having a rotten (and also dumb) mother. So yeah. I am failing at Mommyhood.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Reasons I Hate Kids Birthday Parties
Little Britches BFF had a party this weekend. It was the first time one of her friends (and not a family friend with kids her age) had a party. She was so excited. We went to the store and she picked out the gift, helped me wrap it and asked every day if the party was Todaaaay Mooom? She she had a blast, but it was rough for me. Since Super Boots is gone I had to keep all three kids happy and on good behavior for three freakin hours. During nap time. And hopped up on sugar. You knew it was coming... reasons why I hate going to kids birthday parties.
1. They are always held during nap time. Am I the only one with kids who go bonkers if they miss their naps? And why does every party have to be at one pm? Could I just get a two pm every once in a while?
2. Sugar overload. You know how much I hate giving my kids sugar. And the last thing everyone does at a party is give them a big hunk of cake with a side of ice cream. And then they send you off with a goody bag filled with more crack...err candy. So you're totally exhausted and the kids are pinging off the walls until it's finally close enough to bed time that you can justify tucking them in.
3. Goody Bags. Not only are they filled with kiddie crack, but they contain at least twelve useless dollar store toys that I will be tripping over for the next two months. They also break easily making me freak out that Mighty Mouse will get his paws on the wheel of a toy truck and if he doesn't choke to death, he will be poisoned from ingesting lead paint.
4. Bouncy House Drama. Every party I have been to this year has had a Bouncy House. Don't get me wrong they are awesome. But the big kids bounce out the little kids, some child gets motion sickness and barfs. Not to mention that they just know you are slightly out of control and if they can bounce away fast enough you might give up and let them misbehave. Which you do. Cause it's super frustrating trying to keep your kids playing nice when all the other kids are NOT.
5. Present time. As the kids get older this is not such a big deal, but for little kids, ugh, they just don't get it. They do not understand why this kid gets a huge mountain of gifts and they don't even get one! (Please Mom, Just a little one?)
I know they love em. So we'll keep going. But I kinda hate kids Birthday parties.
1. They are always held during nap time. Am I the only one with kids who go bonkers if they miss their naps? And why does every party have to be at one pm? Could I just get a two pm every once in a while?
2. Sugar overload. You know how much I hate giving my kids sugar. And the last thing everyone does at a party is give them a big hunk of cake with a side of ice cream. And then they send you off with a goody bag filled with more crack...err candy. So you're totally exhausted and the kids are pinging off the walls until it's finally close enough to bed time that you can justify tucking them in.
3. Goody Bags. Not only are they filled with kiddie crack, but they contain at least twelve useless dollar store toys that I will be tripping over for the next two months. They also break easily making me freak out that Mighty Mouse will get his paws on the wheel of a toy truck and if he doesn't choke to death, he will be poisoned from ingesting lead paint.
4. Bouncy House Drama. Every party I have been to this year has had a Bouncy House. Don't get me wrong they are awesome. But the big kids bounce out the little kids, some child gets motion sickness and barfs. Not to mention that they just know you are slightly out of control and if they can bounce away fast enough you might give up and let them misbehave. Which you do. Cause it's super frustrating trying to keep your kids playing nice when all the other kids are NOT.
5. Present time. As the kids get older this is not such a big deal, but for little kids, ugh, they just don't get it. They do not understand why this kid gets a huge mountain of gifts and they don't even get one! (Please Mom, Just a little one?)
I know they love em. So we'll keep going. But I kinda hate kids Birthday parties.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Love Is...
I was closing the window and my Daughter said to me "Wow Mom you're really strong!" She was clearly impressed. It was just an everyday activity but she took that little moment to show me that I was special. It got me thinking about how our kids see us. Through my kids eyes I am strong, beautiful, giving and kind. I may not always see myself like that, but they do. It reminded me that they see themselves by what we mirror back to them. Am I taking the time to show them how smart, sweet, and loving I see them? I have to ask myself, do they see themselves the way I see them?
I am trying to recognize that loving them means showing them how I see them. It's easy to do it when they are behaving well and following the rules, but not as easy when they are melting down. If I can look at what they are doing as an expression of their need to grow it becomes an opportunity to demonstrate my unfailing love. I have to take a moment to remind myself, and them, that I see how amazing they are just by being themselves. When Mini Boots starts literally crying over spilled milk it's because he wants so badly to be a "big" kid with no need for a sipppy cup. When he starts throwing a fit because he doesn't want to hold my hand, its because he is trying to show me he is ready for more independence. And when Little Britches gets frustrated over struggles on her homework, it's because she wants to do a good job and show her teachers how smart she is. It's my job to take her in my arms and tell her she can do it, she is smart and capable. That I can see how strong her work ethic is even at five. Reflecting the good qualities they contain, especially when they are loosing faith in their abilities will build their confidence and sense of self worth.
My children are such an example of unconditional love. I may see my arms as flabby, but to them they are the perfect size for hugs and snuggles. They love me, just the way I am. And I love them, just the way they are. I'm not saying they are going to get away with behaving poorly, but showing them I understand why will help them feel free to grow and develop into the person they are meant to become. Articulating my love for them when they need it most, is the greatest gift I can give them.
I am trying to recognize that loving them means showing them how I see them. It's easy to do it when they are behaving well and following the rules, but not as easy when they are melting down. If I can look at what they are doing as an expression of their need to grow it becomes an opportunity to demonstrate my unfailing love. I have to take a moment to remind myself, and them, that I see how amazing they are just by being themselves. When Mini Boots starts literally crying over spilled milk it's because he wants so badly to be a "big" kid with no need for a sipppy cup. When he starts throwing a fit because he doesn't want to hold my hand, its because he is trying to show me he is ready for more independence. And when Little Britches gets frustrated over struggles on her homework, it's because she wants to do a good job and show her teachers how smart she is. It's my job to take her in my arms and tell her she can do it, she is smart and capable. That I can see how strong her work ethic is even at five. Reflecting the good qualities they contain, especially when they are loosing faith in their abilities will build their confidence and sense of self worth.
My children are such an example of unconditional love. I may see my arms as flabby, but to them they are the perfect size for hugs and snuggles. They love me, just the way I am. And I love them, just the way they are. I'm not saying they are going to get away with behaving poorly, but showing them I understand why will help them feel free to grow and develop into the person they are meant to become. Articulating my love for them when they need it most, is the greatest gift I can give them.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Place of Peace?
I'm frazzled. I am always a ball of whats next, how will we accomplish it all, and why is the house such a mess. It's just a part of who I am. I am on the go, looking towards the future. But lately I have been trying to be more peaceful. I read an article that stated if the Mom is in a place of the peace the family, and therefore the kids tend to be more peaceful too. What's that you say? By being peaceful I can elicit peace from my kids? Please. Hell yes.
You know I need some freakin peace in my life. I need it so bad I'll go against my nature to gain it. But it aint easy man. Life with three kids five and under is just not that peaceful. They're fighting, Mini Boots lost his turtle (lovie) and Little Britches needs space to color, and all hell breaks out. Then the baby starts crying because it's such a cluster of ruckus. And I start to get panicky because this is a lot to handle on my own... and it's bath night... and we are out of milk. I don't care how long I come form a place of peace, things are crazy. But is that really such a bad thing?
I think in THIS time of our lives we are better off embracing the chaos than trying to fight it. Because you know what? As soon as I admit this is tough, busy and stressful, it doesn't seem nearly as bad. It's not going to be less crazy anytime soon, but maybe I can set an example of acceptance and reality rather than stress and frustration. (What? I said maybe!) Look, life will always get in the way of living the way I think I should. And this mantra is teaching me to roll with the chaos. It's the difficult times that define me so when I am feeling frazzled the next time, damn it, I'm coming from a place of peace....
You know I need some freakin peace in my life. I need it so bad I'll go against my nature to gain it. But it aint easy man. Life with three kids five and under is just not that peaceful. They're fighting, Mini Boots lost his turtle (lovie) and Little Britches needs space to color, and all hell breaks out. Then the baby starts crying because it's such a cluster of ruckus. And I start to get panicky because this is a lot to handle on my own... and it's bath night... and we are out of milk. I don't care how long I come form a place of peace, things are crazy. But is that really such a bad thing?
I think in THIS time of our lives we are better off embracing the chaos than trying to fight it. Because you know what? As soon as I admit this is tough, busy and stressful, it doesn't seem nearly as bad. It's not going to be less crazy anytime soon, but maybe I can set an example of acceptance and reality rather than stress and frustration. (What? I said maybe!) Look, life will always get in the way of living the way I think I should. And this mantra is teaching me to roll with the chaos. It's the difficult times that define me so when I am feeling frazzled the next time, damn it, I'm coming from a place of peace....
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Feed Me Semour
Mighty Mouse is hungry. He has been on rice cereal and baby food for almost two months now and he is loving it. He gobbles it up, smiles and says "MMMMM" after every bite. So far, he is only getting dinner but I know he's ready to add another meal to the rotation. But I haven't started feeding him breakfast yet. Because I am too busy and way too tired. How terrible is that?
The kid is starving but I feel like I barley have time to give him the boob while I am getting the other two breakfast, making their lunches, getting them dressed, teeth brushed, shoes on, hair combed and on our way by 8:30. I have eliminated my morning shower, and even though I get up TWO HOURS before we have to leave, I hardly have time to sip my coffee before we are out the door. So I have not introduced the morning meal to my baby...because I am too busy. Talk about Mommy guilt. Whenever my Mom-tourage and I talk about our Mommy guilt, it always boils down to this: "Well, you're feeding them and beyond that all you can do is what you can do." So now I KNOW I am horrible, because I am not even meeting his most basic need! Ack.
I admit it would probably only take about five minutes, but it also means loosing a little more precious sleep. And I am freakin tired people. I am this close to letting the kids run amock and leaving the baby to sit in his own stinkies so I can take a nap. Even considering this (although I wouldn't.. probably never... do this) just adds to my guilt, which leads to more sleepless nights. Since I refuse to become one of those Mom's, I know what I have to do. Tomorrow I will be setting my alarm for 6:15 instead of 6:30 so I can feed Mighty Mouse. If I doze off in the middle of tomorrow's blog.... well you know who to blame.
The kid is starving but I feel like I barley have time to give him the boob while I am getting the other two breakfast, making their lunches, getting them dressed, teeth brushed, shoes on, hair combed and on our way by 8:30. I have eliminated my morning shower, and even though I get up TWO HOURS before we have to leave, I hardly have time to sip my coffee before we are out the door. So I have not introduced the morning meal to my baby...because I am too busy. Talk about Mommy guilt. Whenever my Mom-tourage and I talk about our Mommy guilt, it always boils down to this: "Well, you're feeding them and beyond that all you can do is what you can do." So now I KNOW I am horrible, because I am not even meeting his most basic need! Ack.
I admit it would probably only take about five minutes, but it also means loosing a little more precious sleep. And I am freakin tired people. I am this close to letting the kids run amock and leaving the baby to sit in his own stinkies so I can take a nap. Even considering this (although I wouldn't.. probably never... do this) just adds to my guilt, which leads to more sleepless nights. Since I refuse to become one of those Mom's, I know what I have to do. Tomorrow I will be setting my alarm for 6:15 instead of 6:30 so I can feed Mighty Mouse. If I doze off in the middle of tomorrow's blog.... well you know who to blame.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Why Yes That is a Zit
IEP. Individual Education Plan. If you read this or this, you probably knew it was coming. And I was stressed out. I was so stressed out that in the middle of it I grew a zit. Not even joking, went in with no zit, 90 torturous minutes later? ZIT. And the worst part? We only got through half of the IEP evaluation which means, 15 more restless nights, another torturous 90 minutes and at least 1 more zit.
In some ways the IEP was affirming. Mini Boots is smart. Like really smart. And not developmentally delayed at all. I'm not one of those Mom's who needs a test to show me the results I knew to be true, but in this case it helps. It also affirmed that he is a stinker. He is only going to do what he wants when he wants to do it. We can all agree that his behavior problems might be... probably are... are genetic.
If I am being honest with myself, it's really going to be a lifetime of zits, because language disorders don't just go away. I am going to have to endure this IEP process many, many more times. And the consequences for Mini Boots will get more relevant. Right now it's a little intangible, how a poor outcome can affect his reading in 7th grade, or comprehension on a standardized test could narrow down college choices. However, eventually he won't be our sweet three year old in buzz lightyear underoo's. He will be a big kid with an emotional link to the outcome of these experiences. And that thought just gave me a case of pre teen acne.
In some ways the IEP was affirming. Mini Boots is smart. Like really smart. And not developmentally delayed at all. I'm not one of those Mom's who needs a test to show me the results I knew to be true, but in this case it helps. It also affirmed that he is a stinker. He is only going to do what he wants when he wants to do it. We can all agree that his behavior problems might be... probably are... are genetic.
If I am being honest with myself, it's really going to be a lifetime of zits, because language disorders don't just go away. I am going to have to endure this IEP process many, many more times. And the consequences for Mini Boots will get more relevant. Right now it's a little intangible, how a poor outcome can affect his reading in 7th grade, or comprehension on a standardized test could narrow down college choices. However, eventually he won't be our sweet three year old in buzz lightyear underoo's. He will be a big kid with an emotional link to the outcome of these experiences. And that thought just gave me a case of pre teen acne.
Little for a Little Longer
I am a self confessed Gymboree addict. I love their clothes. They last forever, you can wash them all the time and they look brand new. And all the matchey matchey collections, especially for little girls, are so sweet. For years I have been putting Little Britches in Gymboree swing tops with cute leggings, and sweet tee shirts with adorable skorts. But suddenly she is resisting. She wants a more a "big girl" look. And while I knew this day would come, I can't believe it's come so soon.
So I took her shopping, and what I found made me want to throw up. I found belly shirts. Off the shoulder shirts. I saw spaghetti strap tank tops and pleather leggings. Almost every store had some kind of mini skirts and low waist jeans. One store sold thongs... as in thong underwear... for little girls. It was awful. Most of the stuff I found I wouldn't have let a teenage daughter wear much less my five year old. When did it become acceptable for little girls to dress like teenage sluts? Don't we want to keep our little girls sweet an innocent as long as we can? And who is buying this stuff for their five year olds? I can't be the only Mom who doesn't agree with the style, but apparently I am one of the only Mom's who says "No freakin way" and leaves the stores, because it's SO MUCH harder to find appropriate styles.
Some where along the way our society has deemed it appropriate to over-sexualize children, especially our girls. Her clothing options clearly reflect that. It was especially noticeable on Halloween, I saw a couple of tween slutty nurses but not one young woman dressed in scrubs as a doctor. Our celebrity obsessed culture has tabloids with teenage girls going clubbing in booty shorts ( I'm looking at you slutty Cyrus, I mean Miley) on the cover. It's kind of unavoidable that they will be exposed to this. But if I want Little Britches to value her body for more than her sexuality, I have to show her there is more to dressing for school than looking cute (and older than she is). So I asked her questions while we shopped, like can you run in it? Will you be able to paint? Can you swing? Because she needs to feel good about what her body can DO, not just how it will look to others.
So you know where we ended up? Yup. Gymboree. I told her to pick out whatever she wanted, and thankfully she found a few shirts she liked, a dress and a pair of pants. Then I took her down the way to Gap Kids to complete her outfits where we found some plain tee's, leggings, jeans (with a normal waist thank God) and a hoodie. She can make her own outfits out of the clothes we picked and she can PLAY in everything we bought. And she will look like a little girl for a little longer. I can only hope she continues to feel like one too.
So I took her shopping, and what I found made me want to throw up. I found belly shirts. Off the shoulder shirts. I saw spaghetti strap tank tops and pleather leggings. Almost every store had some kind of mini skirts and low waist jeans. One store sold thongs... as in thong underwear... for little girls. It was awful. Most of the stuff I found I wouldn't have let a teenage daughter wear much less my five year old. When did it become acceptable for little girls to dress like teenage sluts? Don't we want to keep our little girls sweet an innocent as long as we can? And who is buying this stuff for their five year olds? I can't be the only Mom who doesn't agree with the style, but apparently I am one of the only Mom's who says "No freakin way" and leaves the stores, because it's SO MUCH harder to find appropriate styles.
Some where along the way our society has deemed it appropriate to over-sexualize children, especially our girls. Her clothing options clearly reflect that. It was especially noticeable on Halloween, I saw a couple of tween slutty nurses but not one young woman dressed in scrubs as a doctor. Our celebrity obsessed culture has tabloids with teenage girls going clubbing in booty shorts ( I'm looking at you slutty Cyrus, I mean Miley) on the cover. It's kind of unavoidable that they will be exposed to this. But if I want Little Britches to value her body for more than her sexuality, I have to show her there is more to dressing for school than looking cute (and older than she is). So I asked her questions while we shopped, like can you run in it? Will you be able to paint? Can you swing? Because she needs to feel good about what her body can DO, not just how it will look to others.
So you know where we ended up? Yup. Gymboree. I told her to pick out whatever she wanted, and thankfully she found a few shirts she liked, a dress and a pair of pants. Then I took her down the way to Gap Kids to complete her outfits where we found some plain tee's, leggings, jeans (with a normal waist thank God) and a hoodie. She can make her own outfits out of the clothes we picked and she can PLAY in everything we bought. And she will look like a little girl for a little longer. I can only hope she continues to feel like one too.
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