Mini Boots has hit a snag with his Speech and Language therapy. When he came up for a progress report, we realized he is technically performing at the average level (can I get a woo woo?) The range is large and he is on the very lowest end, but it's still average. What I didn't know is unfortunately once you hit that range, our insurance will no longer cover his services. So our insurance isn't paying and our IEP sill isn't complete, which means we aren't getting services there either. The out of pocket cost to provide Language therapy is astronomical, but the alternative is letting him fall behind. As I parent I am not sure how to reconcile letting that happen, or how to accept going broke paying for it ourselves.
So I have been talking to people. Turns out I have some amazing friends who work in healthcare that spent a LOT of time trying to find a loop hole. (Thank you!) I read each medical jargon laden page of our plan and am officially an expert in "maintenance services." I posted it on my facebook because you never know who knows someone who can help. I begged my therapist to provide me with a home plan. And since she totally rocks she even gave me some extra time in our session to help me navigate it. So even though we are being proactive, I am discouraged, and pissed and about to bust out a stiletto. But as I have been talking to everyone about this, scrambling for help, what has been the second most irritating about this is the moronic things people say...
Here it is. My list of things never to say to a Mother of a Special Needs Kid:
1. "He doesnt look any different."
No. He doesn't. Surprisingly neither do you but there are obviously problems going on there.
2. "Do you work with him at home?"
No. We don't. We do however, let him watch the boob tube ten hours a day. And give him an endless supply of junk. Oh and we never talk or read or play with him. Ever. I'm sure it'll just go away eventually.
3. "My kid has the opposite problem. He's so smart."
Really? Well too bad he didn't get it from you or you'd realize having a Language/Learning disorder doesn't actually mean he's stupid. Too many big words?
4. "Well my kids was like that and it went away sooo..."
Look, either you're in denail or you're dumb. Now I'm leaning towards the latter because at some point you can't dig fast enough to keep your head in the sand. So your kid is either still struggling with his disorder or with the fact his Mom is an idiot. Poor kid.
Mini Boot's might not be able to articulate it but I can: My kid is smart and deserves all the world has to offer. No one will stop me form getting it for him. Not even the morons.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Short on it All
Since the new year began I seem to be short on everything. Short on time, short on money, short on patience. Not the best fresh start. And definitely not how I envisioned this year going. But it IS only January so I am going to give it sometime to sort itself out before I voluntarily commit myself. In the meantime here are a few "savers" I'm using to make my life smoother.
Time Savers
*Buy all cards and gifts AND wrapping for the month in one trip.
*Bonus if you can do this while also grocery shopping (Hello Super Target with a Starbucks).
*Responsibility chart is in full effect, kids must clean their rooms and put away all belongings including laundry. Who couldn't use a little child labor in their life?
*Mommy Inbox! Have kids put homework, bills, fundraiser forms, basically all important paperwork in one spot to be sorted and checked at your convenience (also known as in bed with a XXL glass of wine and Real Housewives on the boob tube).
Money Savers
*Buy items you use all the time in bulk. Like diapers, dinosaur chicken nuggets, juice boxes, cereal, wine... you know the basics.
*Check out Groupon for a date night. For kids stuff check craigslist before going to the store.
*Meal plan. Simple yet effective way to avoid the impulse buys, and you will probably eat better too!
*Find your local consignment store. Shop and sell whenever you can!
*Keep a list of things you and your kids need with you so you're less tempted to over shop. I have clothing lists (including sizes), restock lists and gift ideas on my phone.
*Swap babysitting with a friend.
Patience Savers
*Set your timers (one five minute warning ding can save your life) so kids know when they need to move on to something else.
*Make them responsible for as much as they can handle, but ensure they get rewarded from time to time so they will WANT to continue the desired behaviors.
*Wine. Lots of wine.
Maybe it'll help. Maybe by March I'll get in the swing of this... or maybe I'll just be short on everything until my kids are in college.
****Mommy Inbox idea curtesy of my friend Miss M. Thank You for sharing!****
Time Savers
*Buy all cards and gifts AND wrapping for the month in one trip.
*Bonus if you can do this while also grocery shopping (Hello Super Target with a Starbucks).
*Responsibility chart is in full effect, kids must clean their rooms and put away all belongings including laundry. Who couldn't use a little child labor in their life?
*Mommy Inbox! Have kids put homework, bills, fundraiser forms, basically all important paperwork in one spot to be sorted and checked at your convenience (also known as in bed with a XXL glass of wine and Real Housewives on the boob tube).
Money Savers
*Buy items you use all the time in bulk. Like diapers, dinosaur chicken nuggets, juice boxes, cereal, wine... you know the basics.
*Check out Groupon for a date night. For kids stuff check craigslist before going to the store.
*Meal plan. Simple yet effective way to avoid the impulse buys, and you will probably eat better too!
*Find your local consignment store. Shop and sell whenever you can!
*Keep a list of things you and your kids need with you so you're less tempted to over shop. I have clothing lists (including sizes), restock lists and gift ideas on my phone.
*Swap babysitting with a friend.
Patience Savers
*Set your timers (one five minute warning ding can save your life) so kids know when they need to move on to something else.
*Make them responsible for as much as they can handle, but ensure they get rewarded from time to time so they will WANT to continue the desired behaviors.
*Wine. Lots of wine.
Maybe it'll help. Maybe by March I'll get in the swing of this... or maybe I'll just be short on everything until my kids are in college.
****Mommy Inbox idea curtesy of my friend Miss M. Thank You for sharing!****
Monday, January 3, 2011
My Aunt Lori and a Perfect Weekend Mini-Break
Have I blogged about my Aunt Lori? She's so fantastic. She's one of those Mom's who had a zillion kids (ok four, but between neighborhood kids and her own... that equals a zillion), could do it with her eyes closed and loves to help. It's kind of a dream whenever she comes. My kids adore her, and they seem to zen out when she is near. She calms me. She reminds me it's a hard job and I'd better ease up on my crazy supermom expectations and enjoy this time with my kids. Last time she came she taught me how to use my sewing machine and helped me make cafe curtains for my kitchen. This time she came she watched all three kids while my husband and I got a weekend out of town. A WHOLE WEEKEND. She did because she knew we needed it, because we have never even gone out to dinner on our anniversary, and because she is just that awesome.
Getting away with Super Boots was spectacular. We had an amazing time. We remembered how much we like each other. We rediscovered how much we enjoy exploring a new place, that we are aspiring foodie's and that no matter how cool and grown up martini's make us look, we hate them. So what did we do? Well...
We held hands while we walked (because we didn't have to keep kids close).
We lingered over meals (because no one was getting antsy).
We slept in (because no one needed breakfast or a diaper changed).
We left our hotel in the middle of the day (because there was no one demanding a nap with their terrible behavior).
We sat and watched the world go by on the river (because we didn't have kids to hawk eye).
We were so deep in the blur of kiddie needs we had almost forgotten what it was like to be only worried about us. So how do you say thank you to someone who offers such an amazing gift? How can you acknowledge that they gave you back a piece of yourself and let you invest in your relationship in a way only an out of town experience can? The truth is, you really can't. But here's what makes my Aunt Lori so amazing. She already knows. She gets how important it is to be a husband and wife, with no kids from time to time. I am forever grateful to have someone say to me "Liz. You need this. Don't worry about us, we'll be fine. But you, my dear, you need to do this." So Thanks Aunt Lori. I wouldn't have asked for it, but you were right, I needed it. We needed it. And I will be forever grateful.
Getting away with Super Boots was spectacular. We had an amazing time. We remembered how much we like each other. We rediscovered how much we enjoy exploring a new place, that we are aspiring foodie's and that no matter how cool and grown up martini's make us look, we hate them. So what did we do? Well...
We held hands while we walked (because we didn't have to keep kids close).
We lingered over meals (because no one was getting antsy).
We slept in (because no one needed breakfast or a diaper changed).
We left our hotel in the middle of the day (because there was no one demanding a nap with their terrible behavior).
We sat and watched the world go by on the river (because we didn't have kids to hawk eye).
We were so deep in the blur of kiddie needs we had almost forgotten what it was like to be only worried about us. So how do you say thank you to someone who offers such an amazing gift? How can you acknowledge that they gave you back a piece of yourself and let you invest in your relationship in a way only an out of town experience can? The truth is, you really can't. But here's what makes my Aunt Lori so amazing. She already knows. She gets how important it is to be a husband and wife, with no kids from time to time. I am forever grateful to have someone say to me "Liz. You need this. Don't worry about us, we'll be fine. But you, my dear, you need to do this." So Thanks Aunt Lori. I wouldn't have asked for it, but you were right, I needed it. We needed it. And I will be forever grateful.
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