Love Is...

I was closing the window and my Daughter said to me "Wow Mom you're really strong!" She was clearly impressed. It was just an everyday activity but she took that little moment to show me that I was special. It got me thinking about how our kids see us. Through my kids eyes I am strong, beautiful, giving and kind. I may not always see myself like that, but they do. It reminded me that they see themselves by what we mirror back to them. Am I taking the time to show them how smart, sweet, and loving I see them? I have to ask myself, do they see themselves the way I see them?

I am trying to recognize that loving them means showing them how I see them. It's easy to do it when they are behaving well and following the rules, but not as easy when they are melting down. If I can look at what they are doing as an expression of their need to grow it becomes an opportunity to demonstrate my unfailing love. I have to take a moment to remind myself, and them, that I see how amazing they are just by being themselves. When Mini Boots starts literally crying over spilled milk it's because he wants so badly to be a "big" kid with no need for a sipppy cup. When he starts throwing a fit because he doesn't want to hold my hand, its because he is trying to show me he is ready for more independence. And when Little Britches gets frustrated over struggles on her homework, it's because she wants to do a good job and show her teachers how smart she is. It's my job to take her in my arms and tell her she can do it, she is smart and capable. That I can see how strong her work ethic is even at five. Reflecting the good qualities they contain, especially when they are loosing faith in their abilities will build their confidence and sense of self worth.

My children are such an example of unconditional love. I may see my arms as flabby, but to them they are the perfect size for hugs and snuggles. They love me, just the way I am. And I love them, just the way they are. I'm not saying they are going to get away with behaving poorly, but showing them I understand why will help them feel free to grow and develop into the person they are meant to become. Articulating my love for them when they need it most, is the greatest gift I can give them.