We took the plunge this week. After seeing yet another doctor, this one somewhat of a specialist, and getting another recommendation for medication we tried it. It was a holiday weekend so we would have four days at home to observe him, and watch closely for side effects or reactions. Thursday morning he took a pill (wow) and within 45 minutes I could see a change. I asked him about 30 times how he was feeling. But he was fine. He was more than fine. He was BACK.
It worked wonders, he wasn't so fidgety. He could play a game without having to literally sit on his legs to keep them from bouncing. He engaged me in a nice long conversations throughout the day. He smiled, and snuggled, and told me jokes. One of the most amazing things we saw was a confidence in his ability to communicate. He was clear and using longer sentences. Regularly. His language seemed to soar overnight. I always knew he had it inside and I knew he was struggling in therapy, but it never dawned on me that his ADHD would be affecting his speech. I. Was. So. Proud.
And then I fell apart. Because he is happier, and has moments of peace. And he is so well behaved. After two and a half years of struggle, fighting, and fear... I have some hope. The fact that he seems to be responding so well, well it just knocked me sideways. All the stress was released and I bawled like a baby. So this weekend I've been taking care of me by drinking my favorite wine and eating Thai food. I've had a couple of long runs and slept in. I'm enjoying my son's homecoming, we've been playing sonic and chutes and ladders and reading books and riding bikes. As Super Boots put it "It's been two and a half years, we deserve a weekend." Super Boots really is super. Mini Boots is surprising all of us. And its been a great weekend.
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Lost at Sea
About six months ago we took Mini Boots to see a pediatric neurologist. There was the language disorder, but he wasn't socializing at school. He couldn't sit still during circle time. He wasn't sharing. And even though he knew all of his academics, he wouldn't pay attention during structured time. The teachers started throwing around words like Autism, and spectrum disorders.
I guess it wouldn't surprise anyone to know that during that time I started really running. Not just to get some exercise, but running until my legs were shaking, and one more mile was never enough. I felt if I ran far enough, fast enough I could escape my fears. And I was very afraid. More fearful than I have ever been. But at the appointment they didn't say Autism. They didn't say spectrum disorder. What they did say was every early indicator of ADHD.
And now six months later he is struggling even more than he has. His hyperactivity is debilitating. Our last professional described it as "one of the most extreme cases we have seen in a child his age." He is always moving. It is visibly painful for him to sit still even for half a minute. His therapies are becoming less and less effective, as he can not focus long enough to gain the benefits. His delays are becoming more substantial. At school he is so impulsive that his teachers are overwhelmed. But then again, we are too.
Super Boots and I have tried any and every home program to help, from diet to behavior modification programs, to increasing his physical activity. But he is still this way. It is not getting better, it just seems to get worse. It's starting to have an impact on our other children. Not unexpectedly the stress of keeping him constantly supervised and redirected and disciplined and caught being good, and everything else we do for him and the other two is taking a toll on us. But more than that, we MISS him. He is lost in a violent sea of constant motion and we can't seem to reach him. The pain of him slipping away is destroying me moment by moment, one day at a time.
So we are looking into medication. Something we never thought we would do. Something we hoped to avoid has become unavoidable. Yes he is young. But without? He will struggle everyday. After therapies don't work well enough, diets don't help enough, and professionals all agree its time to do this, we are listening. I'm listening because things have been so tough for him every single day, and I want him to feel happy, proud and peaceful. I'm hoping he gets to be himself again. Because who he is, well it's pretty amazing.
I guess it wouldn't surprise anyone to know that during that time I started really running. Not just to get some exercise, but running until my legs were shaking, and one more mile was never enough. I felt if I ran far enough, fast enough I could escape my fears. And I was very afraid. More fearful than I have ever been. But at the appointment they didn't say Autism. They didn't say spectrum disorder. What they did say was every early indicator of ADHD.
And now six months later he is struggling even more than he has. His hyperactivity is debilitating. Our last professional described it as "one of the most extreme cases we have seen in a child his age." He is always moving. It is visibly painful for him to sit still even for half a minute. His therapies are becoming less and less effective, as he can not focus long enough to gain the benefits. His delays are becoming more substantial. At school he is so impulsive that his teachers are overwhelmed. But then again, we are too.
Super Boots and I have tried any and every home program to help, from diet to behavior modification programs, to increasing his physical activity. But he is still this way. It is not getting better, it just seems to get worse. It's starting to have an impact on our other children. Not unexpectedly the stress of keeping him constantly supervised and redirected and disciplined and caught being good, and everything else we do for him and the other two is taking a toll on us. But more than that, we MISS him. He is lost in a violent sea of constant motion and we can't seem to reach him. The pain of him slipping away is destroying me moment by moment, one day at a time.
So we are looking into medication. Something we never thought we would do. Something we hoped to avoid has become unavoidable. Yes he is young. But without? He will struggle everyday. After therapies don't work well enough, diets don't help enough, and professionals all agree its time to do this, we are listening. I'm listening because things have been so tough for him every single day, and I want him to feel happy, proud and peaceful. I'm hoping he gets to be himself again. Because who he is, well it's pretty amazing.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Wat's New Buckaroo?
Hellllooo Hellloooo Hellooo! Is there anybody out there? I have been busy, again. And even though I know three kids is just busy all the time I can't seem to prioritize properly these days. I'm always running late, behind on my laundry and well, everything else in my life. So don't take it personally blog readers. However I am back, and hoping to get back to semi regular posts. But you probably want to know what we have been doing, right?
Little Britches started Kindergarten. She loves it, she is excelling and beyond happy to get up and go to school everyday and eat hot lunch. Mystery meat anyone? She is reading and writing and has a new little boy best friend who she "loooovvess." Super Boots is really happy about that one.
Mini Boots is in preschool again, and its been a rough start for him.... lets just say school is tough for kids like him. But we have some new diagnosis and feel like we have gotten to the root of his struggles. It will get better for him. And in the meantime, he is obsessed with Lego's and video games. He can operate the xbox better than I. It's pretty cool.
Mighty Mouse is just a joy right now. He's at that young toddler stage where he runs like a drunken sailor and every word that comes out of his chubby cheeked face is all sing song and darling. He is all boy. His favorite pastimes include pushing his cars into every piece of kinda nice furniture I have, taking everything out of drawers and off shelves, and pulling things out of the garbage.
As for me? I've been training for a 10k, cooking in a crock pot while my amazing Super Boots remodels our kitchen, and have turned into a professional chauffeur. Oh yeah and I'm a Room Mom. Bet you didn't see that one coming....
Little Britches started Kindergarten. She loves it, she is excelling and beyond happy to get up and go to school everyday and eat hot lunch. Mystery meat anyone? She is reading and writing and has a new little boy best friend who she "loooovvess." Super Boots is really happy about that one.
Mini Boots is in preschool again, and its been a rough start for him.... lets just say school is tough for kids like him. But we have some new diagnosis and feel like we have gotten to the root of his struggles. It will get better for him. And in the meantime, he is obsessed with Lego's and video games. He can operate the xbox better than I. It's pretty cool.
Mighty Mouse is just a joy right now. He's at that young toddler stage where he runs like a drunken sailor and every word that comes out of his chubby cheeked face is all sing song and darling. He is all boy. His favorite pastimes include pushing his cars into every piece of kinda nice furniture I have, taking everything out of drawers and off shelves, and pulling things out of the garbage.
As for me? I've been training for a 10k, cooking in a crock pot while my amazing Super Boots remodels our kitchen, and have turned into a professional chauffeur. Oh yeah and I'm a Room Mom. Bet you didn't see that one coming....
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