Bringing the Crazy

I have been trying to make some Mommy friends and I can accept that we all bring a little bit of crazy with us into the Mommyhood (hello cleaning schedule). But is it just me or does being a Mom bring all the weirdness usually contained by social norms to the surface? I'm not talking about the bat-shit crazy hovercraft Moms (ummm she's 8, let her climb the monkey bars already) or the looney tunes stage Moms (Tiaras and Toddlers) but the regular Mom's out there who go a little overboard... with the best of intentions. I've decided that a little bit of nuttiness is normal and a few of the crazies I've met along the way have become great friends. Well you know... birds of a feather....

*Granola Moms- This Mom is pretty devoted, she makes all her own baby food, uses cloth diapers and totally composts. But she also breastfeeds until they go to kindergarden and still shares the "family bed" with her nine year old. So don't feel bad that you weaned when your little girl when she got her first chomper (that shiz hurts)! I'm not saying the Native people of wherever didn't do it the best way for them, but we are in a new time... where we all have our own rooms... for sleeping in.... by ourselves.

*Nosy Nellies- We are all a little curious about how things go down in other houses. (Is bath time a nightmare for anyone but me?) But there is a line of curiosity we just don't need to cross at the Mommy and Me Music Class. However, this Mom wants to know every detail about your life from what kind of diaper cream you use to how your stitches healed post episiotomy (Is your vag ever the same? Ummmm I am not telling you that EV.ER.) Most likely its just her insecurities getting the best of her, and hey we all have moments like that.

*The Clinger- She checks to see which swim lessons your kids are taking to make sure your in the same class and stops by whenever she's on your side of town. But hey she's always up for hanging and never leaves your calls unreturned. She's basically harmless. She's just lonely and likes you. A lot. Give her some boundaries and try not to go ape shit when she gets upset that you had coffee with your neighbor.

*Cell Phone Appendage Mom- Ok I get it, I miss talking to adults too. And I only really have time for one phone conversation a day, (thank God for texting otherwise some of my awesome Mommy friends might only hear from me once a month) but seriously you gotta put the phone down from time to time. Like when your kids are playing at the park, or when they are screaming for the Ariel Doll at Target. This is not the time to update your facebook status to "kids going insane and taking me with them." Because if you don't pay attention to them I will throw the damn doll at your head.

*Scheduled Mom- The kids are playing at the park and being GREAT. Like you could sit down and read a book good (not that you would... but still). But when she looks at her watch, its 11:45, and lunch is as 12:00 followed by a nap at 12:30. So instead of wavering on the timeline and being a little tiny bit flexible, she scoops her kids up (kicking and screaming) and drags them home. Because she has a schedule people! (I may have some first hand knowledge of this Mom. I mean... it might have been me. Maybe.)


You've heard me mention Cool Mom Camouflage, but these Mom's are not necessarily toxic like Competitive Mommy. They are a little out there, but for the most part these Mom's are just trying to connect with someone and do what they think is the best for their kids. Mommyhood can be isolating, and many Moms think they need to come across a certain way to be accepted. So they overcompensate by banning sugar or asking new friends to overshare. But if we just accept each other for the Mom's we are, we might not need to camouflage the crazy. And that's all I'm saying.