Ever have one of those friends who dresses ummm, shall we say inappropriately for her situation? Well I do. And even though I love her to bits, I just wish she'd be a bit more practical about how she dresses. Because she has kids. And if you have kids you know that even when your skirt is considered to be a conservative length, all it take is one climbing through your legs (because the cashier said Hi and they're SHY) and the whole grocery store sees your panties. We already tempt fate just by leaving the house! So take my word for it, there are at least three items of clothing a Mom should not wear with her kids around.
1. Tube Top- Because those boobies are sagging lady and all it takes is one little tug by toddler who needs to get your attention and OOPS! Out pops lefty. Please, no one wants to see that.
2. Low Cut jeans- Ever tried to "Mother" without bending down? At all? Nope you can't do it. And when you're in those hip hugging, low cut jeans and you bend over, well... I see a lot of crack... and Crack is Whack! So I know you think you're avoiding the Mom Jeans by squeezing yourself into a pair of trendy skinnie's but please, for the sake of burning retinas all over. Find a happy medium.
3. Mini Skirts- Again with the bending over! Except this time, I'm looking at your vag. That you popped at least one child out of. Do yourself a favor and if you need to show off your thighs, wear shorts.
So even though the weather is getting hotter and I KNOW you think you can rock it, please don't. At least until date night.
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