I can't believe I have to revisit this topic already, but apparently some of you did not take "Tell Me Lies" to heart. So in true Mom form we're going to have to discuss this a little more thoroughly. I was chatting with my lovely baby sister who is expecting her first bundle of responsibility...err joy... and despite the fact that she is the cutest, tiniest pregnant lady you've ever seen, someone actually asked her if she was having twins. Whaaa? She seriously looks like I did at 20 weeks... but she's eight months and glowing! I, being the biggest preggo lady you've ever seen, was shocked! I thought it was just me. But no. Apparently stupid comments are also made to the cute mama's to be. So I just had to make a list (you know how I love me a good list) of things never to say to a pregnant lady.... unless you WANT to get slapped. I included a few of my favorite comebacks for you. Please use generously!
* "Oh my gosh you've gotten so big since I saw you last!"
OMG you too!
* "Aren't you scared it'll hurt to deliver?"
Well I was really just enjoying being pregnant, but thanks, now I AM scared. Anxiety is really bad for my baby.... so really thanks sooo much.
* "What if you tear?"
Holy Crap! Shut up you evil woman!
* "Don't you just hate how frumpy maternity clothes are?"
Man I thought I was looking pretty good today, but I see you shop in the shlump-a-dump department too.
* "You look like you're having a girl/boy because you're so big/have bad skin/have greasy hair."
Well I wont be pregnant forever and will be back to my beautiful self soon enough. What's your solution?
* "You should eat almonds/salmon/leeks (or any food other than dill pickle potato chips and M&M's) because it's good for the baby."
Well my Dr. told me to eat ice cream and chocolate croissants exclusively. Weird, I haven't heard anything about almonds/salmon/leeks.
* "Are you going to breastfeed/bottle feed? Because breastfeeding/bottle feeding is the only good choice."
My baby wont starve, so how does this affect your life?
* "I hope it doesn't get your nose/ears/figure."
As long as it gets my witty demeanor and smart mouth!
I can't believe I have to say it again, so listen up all you nosy nuisances! Think before you speak. And if you must say ANY thing, please say something nice. Otherwise, watch your six because you'll have two hormonal sisters who may or may not be expecting twins coming at you.
Hilarious! Another one to add to the list that a family member actually said to me: "Well, you certainly haven't gotten any smaller since I've seen you last."
ReplyDelete- Well, neither have you so I guess that makes two of us...
I love the comebacks that we only wish we could say!!! I think of those all the time after someone says something stupid to me and I want to say them so badly it hurts! But I don't... GRR....when are they going to figure out that pregnant women don't like you to point out the obvious...Really! Just say "You look great!" "congratulations" that's all...c'mon people...
ReplyDeletehmmm.. just thinking, what about after you have the baby, it's in your arms and someone asks you, " when are you due?" yeah.. had that happen to me once. i was feeling pretty good, had lost 15 pounds and was on my way. then i had to imediately divert to dairy queen, pronto!
ReplyDeleteMandy, that will have to be another blog... what not to say to a woman shedding 9 mos of hormones ;)
ReplyDeleteMy tummy stayed relatively small when I was pregnant, and people would comment about it like to was starving my unborn child, which I absolutely was not. Why don't people get that you NEVER comment on a pregnant woman's size, big or small. Just tell them they look great, and make her day.
ReplyDeleteAnd then people constantly commenting on whether I had "popped" or not. What a horrible term!
And finally, the most personal, so many people asked if the pregnancy was planned or not, I guess because my BF and I are not married, but we have been together for 4 years and lived with each other almost as long, not to mention knowing each other for about 13 years prior. But that question, really? I mean, why don't I just invite them in to the bedroom with us? Again, just say congrats and move on.