A Mothers Day Gift

Dear MOM'S

I just want you to know that the Mania recognizes all you do, the never ending cleaning up of poo, the continuous sock sorting and the lunches packed with just the right kind of crackers but not the purple juice box. These are jobs only a Mom does best, and never ever have my kids said "Thanks Mom for rescuing my pink ruffle sock from the lint trap... again." I'm guessing your's have not either. Fact: it's a thankless job. Except on Mothers Day. On Mothers Day our kids and our husband will say thanks! On Mothers Day we get homemade cards lovingly designed in preschool! On Mothers Day something special will happen reminding us how much we are adored, appreciated, even worshiped for the well oiled machine called our life we run every day.

We hope.

And if it doesn't happen that way we feel sad and deflated. I mean we devote everyday to you naughty little munchkins, can you just give us ONE DAY?

So while this blog is my gift to you Mom's, it's not actually written for you. It's for your husbands and for your children... consider it a token of my affection. It's for all the crusts you've cut off and all the matchbox cars you've tripped over. The Mania appreciates it all. So feel free to forward, and I hope you get exactly what you deserve, some freakin PEACE and QUIET. And maybe a new lock for the bathroom door.

OK Dad's and Children!

Here are ingredients to the PERFECT Mothers Day:

*Let Mom sleep in. Until at least 10.
*When she wakes up, have coffee ready and breakfast figured out. If you don't cook make sure you pick up something sinful like cinnamon rolls.
*Do the breakfast dishes.
*Ask her what she wants to do for the day.

If she says she doesn't know you must have a plan. You see guys this is where it gets tricky. She wants time off, but feels compelled to engage in family time, which inevitably leads to engaging in Mom duties. This is exactly what we are trying to avoid. So HAVE A PLAN.

Some great ideas:
-Mani/Pedi
-Massage
-Day in Bed with a Good Book
-Trip to the Mall with a crisp $100 bill and instructions not to come home without something nice for herself.
-A baby sitter she didn't know was coming and an afternoon with her Man!
-New Sunglasses, junk magazines, directions to the lake/river/ocean and instructions to relax by the water.

While she is out, you'll have to step up your game. DO NOT let her come home to a messy house. Under no circumstances are there to be dishes in the sink, toys on the floor or floaters in the toilet. You have to keep it clean, and if you really want to rock her world, mop, clean a bathroom, or do laundry. When she returns from the afternoon off, you will be staring at a new woman. She will look youthful, refreshed! Congrats! But your job is not done yet. Tell her to relax, because it is almost time for dinner and you got this covered too. (Just smile when her jaw hits the ground, and she tells you how much she loves you).

*Make dinner/Order take out/Take her out. Just Do. Not. Make. Her. Cook. Got it?
*Do dishes.
*Put kids to bed while she calls her Mom, or best friend and brags about what an awesome day she just had.
*Give her a big hug, tell her you're exhausted and have no idea how she does it EVERY DAY.

Good luck Dad's and Children. The Mania has faith that you can pull this one off. Make it her best Mothers Day ever. After all, she makes your life better every day. Doesn't that deserve a little thanks?