The Clause

As the weeks of enjoying my newborn roll by and he is changing and growing every day, one thing remains the same. I am so FREAKIN tired. Like dead on my feet, nodding off in my morning coffee, should I even be driving when I am this tired, exhausted. I know all the tricks. I sleep when the baby sleeps, I go to bed early, I use the sun to keep my natural rhythms on track and exercise (energy breeds energy ladies!) to try to trick my body into feeling rested. But the bottom line remains, I would kill for a good eight hours.

With each child I get more and more tired. The demands on my day time routine intensify. There is preschool, activities, shopping, errands, cooking cleaning... oh my! Napping windows shrink. All of these jobs we Mom's do suddenly become an overwhelming mountain of obligation. When you have not slept in more than a month longer than a couple hours at a time your mind will start to go a little loopy. Not only do I become forgetful, but I can also be crabby. Really crabby.

If you're anything like us and the baby cries in the middle of the night, no one moves. We think, well maybe that was a fluke. Of course it was not and the screaming intensifies. We both still pretend to be in a deep sleep hoping the other will get up. Eventually one of us says something snippy like "Oh don't worry I'll get the baby. After all I only have work/preschool drop off/doctors appointments in three hours" and begrudgingly gets out of the cozy bed. We're both tired and we're not really mad, but sometimes we spout our frustrations at the wrong target. After all we can't tell the baby to lock. it. up. (I've tried, they just don't get it and continue to cry until you feed them. Weird, I know). Which is why my husband and I have a policy. We call it the Temporary Insanity Clause, it was implemented shortly after the birth of my oldest and we swear by it. Without it I would not have had baby number two or three, and probably not the happy marriage either!

The rule is this; anything you say between the hours of 11pm and 5 am can not be used against you. Now we don't have to sheepishly apologize to each other in the morning knowing full well we were jerks. It alleviates the guilt. After all we can't help it, we're tired! I can just look in his bloodshot eyes and we both crack up knowing lack of sleep does CA-razy things to a person. Just to be clear this is not a license to bitch, and if you're not nice during the day (well... most of the time anyway), this may not work. But if your usually sweet self is sometimes replaced by a midnight gremlin, don't beat yourself up. Invoke the Temporary Insanity Clause and all will be forgotten. Middle of the night rants are to be expected, and this may just save your marriage.... or at least your pride. You're welcome.