Deployment is soul sucking. There are no breaks, even when you get a sitter you're still on call. Your kids need more from you than you ever thought you'd have to give and because you're all alone the patience reserve is low. There is a dull ache of worry and heartbreak you carry like a sack of potatoes every moment of the day. All of these stressors can get the best of you quite quickly. It's easy to feel a little woe is me, but no matter how overwhelming it all can be you have to put on the Mom jeans and deal. With many separations under my belt I have come to accept its going to be hard... but there are things I can do to lift my spirits. I try to find things that make me happy and focus my attention on those outlets. So what do I do to get by? I embrace my quirks, and here are three things I have come to love about deployments....
*My Way All Day- You might be looking forward to a lazy Saturday afternoon, but Dad has made other plans. Yard work maybe, or his buddy has a softball game and they need a outfielder. But on deployment, I get to make all the plans! Woo Hoo! Who wants to go to the MALL? (Yes you can ride the train as long as you are quiet while I spent 20 minutes at Sephora trying all kinds of lotions and potions). I can stay in the pool all day, I can let laundry pile up. Early bedtime? Ok! PB&J for dinner? Sounds great Mom! I don't have to answer to anyone, my agenda is all that matters and that is really nice sometimes.
*Hyper-Organization- I admit, I am a bit of an OCD housekeeper. It's not that my home is always super clean, but I like my cleaning schedule and knowing that everything has a place. So while Dad is gone, no one is messing up my neatly stacked, fold facing out towel piles. The kids aren't allowed to track mud in on Tuesday or Friday (clean floor day, thanks for remembering before you let them splash in mud puddles Hun). I can line up my drinks in the fridge, label out. The kids always put their toys away in exactly the right spot because I can oversee it all. Let's face it, unless you want to make yourself (and your man) coo-koo this is not a regular reality. But while he's gone, I love opening my pantry and knowing everything is exactly where it should be...label out.
*Remote CONTROL- No matter how cool your man is, there are shows he is just not into. And they are always the most awesome ones like Real Housewives of anywhere and HBO anything. I can only deal with so much huffing and eye-rolling before I change the channel. But guess what? He's not here and I really need the mental vacay! I get to stay up late with a bowl of popcorn, a 16 & Pregnant marathon and zero judgements (oh be honest, like you don't watch trash too).
I miss him all the time, but finding a little happiness goes a long way in preventing the sad spiral. When I can go to sleep knowing we're all organized and full on mindless TV I wake up wanting to do it again for one more day. After a while I can stop counting the days and start counting the weeks. When he's home a happy chaos rules, and I don't really miss my way. Because having Dad around means doing it "our" way. And together is always the best way.
No comments:
Post a Comment