My Military Man

I haven't mentioned this often in this blog, but I am married to a military man. Yup. I am an always moving, deployment surviving, mow-the-grass-even-though-it's-not-my-"job" Navy Wife. We have to be pretty strong to handle deployments. But here's the deal, none of us really like that we have to feel that way. Many of us wish we married an accountant, or an insurance salesman... a man whose passions kept them close to home, and more importantly out of harms way. Now don't get me wrong I am PROUD of his service. So proud that I am willing to sacrifice for him and to do what he does. And when I say sacrifice I do mean sacrifice.... things like 3 out of the last 4 Christmas's, and countless birthdays. Sacrifices like only spending one anniversary with him, ever.

It infuriates me when people say "I just can't imagine what I would do without MY man. I just can't even think about something happening to him." I realize they are tring to be supportive, but it sounds like they think we are less close because we have to spend time apart. That is clearly not the case. To be honest I was also unsure that I could live without him right until he left on his first (and by first I mean MY first, he'd had a few under his belt) deployment when my daughter was 9 weeks old and not sleeping through the night. But I learned how to handle an infant 24-7 on my own. I learned how to manage my normal work load and his "man chores." It was a good thing too because he left when my son was only 5 weeks old. That time I learned how to mange two kids under two in the ER at three am, and how to cope with unimaginable loss when my beloved shepherd mix Lola died. Each deployment provides me with the building blocks for the next.

When he leaves, my kids feel lost and confused so they act out. I have to be the nurturing parent who understands how sad they feel as well as the regulator who enforces rules. All the sudden i have to take out the garbage, get the oil changed, and mow the grass (although I am notorious for letting this one go). Inevitably something breaks, leaks or needs immediate attention despite your lack of knowledge. One time my car broke down, another time I found water in the basement/garage. I closed on our house with a power of attorney and an antsy two year old in a stroller. I have had to call exterminators, plumbers, home appraisers and beg for their speedy assistance and hope they don't overcharge me because they know Hubby isn't around to know better. With every deployment I learn that can handle more, survive better.

But just to be clear, I don't WANT to! I really do not want to do it without him. Each time I somehow manage to juggle it all, and we all get through it. When he comes home, I sometimes crumble and cry. I always hug and kiss him, and then I sleep. I recharge my batteries by shopping with girlfriends and long afternoons at the hair salon. I get sitters when I can, and try to soak the family time up. Because sooner or later he'll have to leave again. I will sacrifice that time because I love him and I am so very proud of my military man.