Positive Responsibility

For the last six weeks, I have been bashing my head into the wall repeatedly. What brings me to such frustrations? My strong-willed, nearly four year old daughter. She can be as sweet as pie, or as rotten as moldy tomatoes! I have tried everything to get her to obey the basic rules of the house: time outs, taking beloved toys away, sending her to her room, and nothing was working. I never envisioned myself as a mad mother, I don't like to yell or threaten, but suddenly I had become exactly that. I needed a mommy intervention!

I took one evening and wrote down exactly what I expected out of my little girl, and what behaviors were unacceptable. As I was writing, I realized I was, in essence, creating a responsibility chart. It included chores; feed the dog, clean your room, and also behavioral goals such as be respectful, share and no whining. I remembered buying a chore chart a couple of years ago, and dug it out. I made a few changes to make it fit my family's needs, and found a prominent place to hang it up. I got a good night's sleep and began with a renewed commitment the next morning.

It's hard. I had to be constantly vigilant towards the good behavior, and ready to recognize it in that instant. I focused on retraining myself instead of punishing her. And after a few days she became very aware of what it takes to earn her smiley faces, knowing that once a row is filled up she gets a treat. The bad behavior that was driving me to self-brutalization is not as frequent and I am guiding her to positive actions with nearly no negative attention. She has a much happier and confident demeanor, and I am living in a peaceful household once again. Thank you Responsibility Chart, I am converted!

I love Melissa and Doug's version, which includes blank blocks to customize for your children, but you can always make your own with construction paper and stickers.