Love is a Battlefield

A friend of mine has said, "Four going on fourteen." I can not deny the truth to that claim... and I wish she wasn't so accurate in describing the attitude. I am blown over by the sheer stamina of my daughter's sourpuss face and sassy remarks. I look into her stubborn eyes, watch her pop her hip and cross her arms over her chest as I ask her to pick up her blocks. To which she replies simply, "No." I then repeat (for the 10th time) the consequences of disobeying (time out, then time out in her room), remind her that her job is to follow the rules, and ask her to make a good decision. I don't get emotional, I just militarily recount the rules and enforce if necessary.

This has been repeated countless times everyday for nearly a week. I know that her Dad is gone and I am sympathetic, to a point. However deep her feelings of loss, she needs to respect the rules of the house. This Mama is still in charge and I will win every battle of wills... but I am exhausted! I do not want to argue about every little comment, what's for breakfast, what time is bedtime, what color the grass is! My sister reminded me I'm doing all I can but I just feel so depleted. I want to enjoy my daughter and right now I do not. I hear that this is the same story for teenagers, the never ending attitude, the battle field that stretches as far as the eye can see, and the feelings of despair. I am loosing my baby to her own independent self!

This is probably not going to change anytime soon. And she will wear me out. But I love her madly, and I owe it to her to enforce stability and regulations. As she gets older these clashes of will are sure to become more intense, but if I preserver she'll fall back into step... eventually. Until then I will provide structure, be consistent and stay strong. I feel better armed when I know the lessons she is learning now will serve her well in life. So Mom's remember... love... is a battlefield. Bring your ammo.

Major Mania

I haven't blogged in a while. I've had some life changing experiences in the last several months and have needed time to process and digest the new directions.

I am expecting my third child! We have decided to wait to find out the sex, and I am really looking forward to the Dr announcing "It's a ........!" I am so thrilled, and also incredibly wary of what that will mean for my sanity! Experience has taught me that while I will rise to the occasion, the struggles of raising children increase with each new bundle of responsibiltiy... I mean joy! This may be our last, so I am savoring every moment.

More immediatly, my son Harrison was diagnosed with a language disorder. He has Expressive/Receptive Language Disorder, as well as Speech Articulation disorder. I was quite sad about this at first, and I allowed myself a weekend to cry and morn the notion of a perfect and easy childhood for him. But I know if I am ok with it, he will be too. Life isn't ever perfect, even in childhood. I just had put on my mom jeans and just deal with it. It was time for action.

So I am back in the saddle, preggo and kickin ass for my little man! Let the MANIA continue!