Run Mama Run

There have been a few times in my life when I have felt really accomplished. When I got my first store at twenty-two (yes I was in retail for a long while, and I loved it). When I put together a double stroller and neither child fell out of it on our road test. Unfortunately, Mommyhood doesn't lend itself towards feelings of accomplishment. You're not doing it, the kids are. There are many times my kids do something great and I beam with pride, but that's just not the same as if I concurred something myself. To be frank, I didn't realize I was missing that feeling until it smacked me in the face and changed how I feel about myself forever.

After Mighty Mouse was born, I started running to loose weight. I was facing a large weight loss goal and now with three kids, I had even less time to work out. Another motivator was some extended family members experiencing their own health issues. I knew it was now or never. I have dabbled in running before, but could never commit. I'd push too hard and fail, always returning to fast walking. But I wanted to get serious. After some research I found a 30 minute training program that fit perfectly into my busy mommy life. I used the c25k (couch to five kilometer) program on my iphone. The short intervals weren't intimidating to my out of shape Mommy Body and I thought "No Problem." But at the beginning I struggled to run for 90 seconds. Despite it being hard I somehow I managed to run the 90 seconds nine times in a row. I continued to push myself through the various milestones, 5 minutes, 8 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes. And now? I can run for 30 minutes. I do it three times a week, most weeks, and am starting another training program called the One Hour Runner soon. I'm not at my goal, but I have lost weight. Believe me saying goodbye to pair of too-big-for-me-now jeans is awesome, but it isn't the weight loss that has changed me.

The unintended consequences of my running goals unfolded as feelings of accomplishment, strength. I discovered I actually LIKE to run. I catch myself smiling as I pound the pavement. It makes me happy. It's one of the only times I am completely alone. After each run my wobbly legs, sweat soaked shirt and heavy breathing are tangible reminders that I just RAN. I laced up my shoes and tackled something five years ago I never believed I would be capable of, never have done willingly, let alone looked forward too. Running has become less about weight, or even health and more about self confidence. What's most surprising is that on this journey to loose weight, I have become an athlete in my own mind. And I am never going back.

SPD and Me, err Mini Boots

Mini Boots finally received another diagnosis. Sensory Processing Disorder, also known as Sensory Integration Disorder. We all experience most of life though our senses, taste, touch, smell, and so on. While Mini Boots' brain takes in the same sensory information we all get, he has abnormal responses to normal stimuli. Which essentially means he feels out of sync. All the time.

He craves certain things, and avoids others. He still cries when he hears thunder. Mini Boots will hide in his room while I run the vacuume even though I give him lots of notice. And in class every tiny little noise as small as a child moving a chair in another classroom, or his teacher dropping a pencil will distract him. He loves to move, he is constantly jumping, running, and feels the most comfortable and balanced on the playground, riding bikes or in our pool. But on the other hand? He wants to jump in class, he wants to run around the house, and will plow you down if you are in his way. There is a saying "He just doesn't know his own strength" and in his case, this is absolutely true. Because his mind doesn't experience touch the same way ours does, his physical play is often rough.

You know that feeling when you dream that you're falling? And you wake up startled that you didn't hit the ground? Imagine if you felt like that several times a day. If that feeling of uncertainty about where your body is in space, wondering if you were going to smack into the ground or simply wake up was "normal" for you? For him that feeling is experienced so often it is a slice of normal in his world. Mini Boots lives his life feeling like he is literally riding a roller coaster everyday, all day. And to be honest, I am not sure how he handles it as well as he does. Now that we know we are getting him some help, Occupational Therapy to be specific. We are discovering how to communicate with him about how his body feels, and searching for the best ways to help him level off. And when he climbs all over me or tackles his siblings, I don't get irritated anymore. I just pick him up, squeeze him really tight feeling so proud of his progress on this journey... and then blow up the bouncy house so he can jump till he feels like himself again.