Run Mama Run

There have been a few times in my life when I have felt really accomplished. When I got my first store at twenty-two (yes I was in retail for a long while, and I loved it). When I put together a double stroller and neither child fell out of it on our road test. Unfortunately, Mommyhood doesn't lend itself towards feelings of accomplishment. You're not doing it, the kids are. There are many times my kids do something great and I beam with pride, but that's just not the same as if I concurred something myself. To be frank, I didn't realize I was missing that feeling until it smacked me in the face and changed how I feel about myself forever.

After Mighty Mouse was born, I started running to loose weight. I was facing a large weight loss goal and now with three kids, I had even less time to work out. Another motivator was some extended family members experiencing their own health issues. I knew it was now or never. I have dabbled in running before, but could never commit. I'd push too hard and fail, always returning to fast walking. But I wanted to get serious. After some research I found a 30 minute training program that fit perfectly into my busy mommy life. I used the c25k (couch to five kilometer) program on my iphone. The short intervals weren't intimidating to my out of shape Mommy Body and I thought "No Problem." But at the beginning I struggled to run for 90 seconds. Despite it being hard I somehow I managed to run the 90 seconds nine times in a row. I continued to push myself through the various milestones, 5 minutes, 8 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes. And now? I can run for 30 minutes. I do it three times a week, most weeks, and am starting another training program called the One Hour Runner soon. I'm not at my goal, but I have lost weight. Believe me saying goodbye to pair of too-big-for-me-now jeans is awesome, but it isn't the weight loss that has changed me.

The unintended consequences of my running goals unfolded as feelings of accomplishment, strength. I discovered I actually LIKE to run. I catch myself smiling as I pound the pavement. It makes me happy. It's one of the only times I am completely alone. After each run my wobbly legs, sweat soaked shirt and heavy breathing are tangible reminders that I just RAN. I laced up my shoes and tackled something five years ago I never believed I would be capable of, never have done willingly, let alone looked forward too. Running has become less about weight, or even health and more about self confidence. What's most surprising is that on this journey to loose weight, I have become an athlete in my own mind. And I am never going back.