While the Motherhood Mafia is an all encompassing group, within the ranks lies a very special handful of women. You don't just get understanding from afar, no no. This group is in the trenches with you. These ladies will talk out any potty training issue you have, climb in your minivan the day after a road trip and laugh about the layer of cracker dust, and meet you at the ER to pick up your healthy kids with chicken nuggets and a don't-worry-about-a-thing-babysitting offer. These devoted and tolerant women make up your MOM-tourage. I rely on them as much as I rely on my husband, and the MOM-tourage always has my back. So who's in mine?
*No Nonsense, Don't Mess With Me Mom
She is fantastically loyal, hyper organized, and uber tough. Nothing gets by her and you can learn a lot about managing it all seamlessly from this Mom. She may come off a bit rough, but once she takes you under her wing you never have to worry about emergency help or sound advise.
*Up For Anything, Always Fun Mom
She is ready to hit the zoo on a moments notice, always up to meet at the park and loves pizza night. The two of you spend lots of time laughing and chatting over play dates. Perfect for the SAHM, she assures you you're not alone in this Mom Mania and really means it when she says "Call me anytime."
*The Know It All, Been There Done That Mom
This Mom has at least three kids and has seen it all. Her youngest is probably the same age as your oldest, and she has been through everything. Need a great pediatrician? Call her. Best schools? She's got a list and probably knows the director. At the end of your rope with temper tantrums? She'll have the creative solution you need. A great addition to your Mom-tourage, she is a wealth of knowledge and reminds you to keep muddling through.
*The Mom Who Knew You When
She was your friend when your biggest worry was what to wear on Friday night. You have been friends for years and she gets how this Mommy gig is tough for YOU. This Mom knows what you sacrificed and how you changed. She'll call you out on your BS and then tear it up at MNO (Mom's Night Out) just like the two of you did on that one wild spring break trip.
These are my core four, and I could not feel deeper devotion and adoration for them if I married them. Which I would. In a second. (Couldn't we all use a wife?) They have shared the sleeping through the night FINALY highs and lifted me out of the undiagnosed PPD lows. These are the ladies who will make sure I never again have to take my kids to a pelvic exam. So while I am a card carrying Motherhood Mafia Member, my heart belongs to my MOM-tourage.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Dear Kate....
Kate Gosselin - I just have to get this off my chest....
Oh gosh I am sooooo sorry you got kicked off Dancing with the Stars. Really. I mean with all that awesome foot work and hip shaking... who are we kidding.... it's amazing you lasted as long as you did. But now that you're done I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief. I am so tired of hearing the "poor me" spiel you have dished out at every turn. Let's face it, the Kate I knew was never a victim.
Here's the deal. I used to love Jon and Kate Plus Eight. The kids were pretty cute, but she was my Mom Idol. Kate was awesome. She rocked the sweats and crazy do, never ever had a date night, and crumbs under her table were a daily disaster. She could put one kid in time out, hold one up by the arm until they realized She. Was. Not. Kidding. She'd manage four others playing play dough all while holding a conversation with the crew. It was awesome! She had a schedule for everything and made an inspirational list. (You know she won major points from me on this one). If you pissed her off, you knew it (I'd be pretty crabby with 8 kids under five too) but most of the time she was just doing her best to hold it all together. It was a lot like my life. And then came the divorce....
While there is no denying Jon was/is a total douche bag, I expected more from her. I hoped she'd WO-man up and tell the world she lost 200 lbs of dead weight and was gonna be better than ever without him. But no. She whined. And cried. And acted like she couldn't handle it. PAH-lease girl. We all know who you are. You, Kate are the don't-mess-with-me-Mom! Own it! It's why we loved you. Not many of us could have figured out how to keep up with all the chaos eight kids brings. But you did it, and did it well. You inspired me to keep my linen closet organized, make time for special Valentines Day heart shaped pancakes, and grocery shop on a budget because if you could do it I sure could!
Seriously Kate, if you say "I just have to do what's best for my kids" one more time while giving off puppy dog eyes I will smack you. Acting like you're so sad and speaking quietly into the camera just isn't working for you. You have an army of Mom's who felt empowered by your no-nonsence existence. You are a tough Bitch. So please make a list of why you can be an amazing Mom and the next time someone asks you how you do it, tell em the truth. "You put on your Mom jeans and deal, now back off because I've got eight organic lunches to pack."
Oh gosh I am sooooo sorry you got kicked off Dancing with the Stars. Really. I mean with all that awesome foot work and hip shaking... who are we kidding.... it's amazing you lasted as long as you did. But now that you're done I can't help but breathe a sigh of relief. I am so tired of hearing the "poor me" spiel you have dished out at every turn. Let's face it, the Kate I knew was never a victim.
Here's the deal. I used to love Jon and Kate Plus Eight. The kids were pretty cute, but she was my Mom Idol. Kate was awesome. She rocked the sweats and crazy do, never ever had a date night, and crumbs under her table were a daily disaster. She could put one kid in time out, hold one up by the arm until they realized She. Was. Not. Kidding. She'd manage four others playing play dough all while holding a conversation with the crew. It was awesome! She had a schedule for everything and made an inspirational list. (You know she won major points from me on this one). If you pissed her off, you knew it (I'd be pretty crabby with 8 kids under five too) but most of the time she was just doing her best to hold it all together. It was a lot like my life. And then came the divorce....
While there is no denying Jon was/is a total douche bag, I expected more from her. I hoped she'd WO-man up and tell the world she lost 200 lbs of dead weight and was gonna be better than ever without him. But no. She whined. And cried. And acted like she couldn't handle it. PAH-lease girl. We all know who you are. You, Kate are the don't-mess-with-me-Mom! Own it! It's why we loved you. Not many of us could have figured out how to keep up with all the chaos eight kids brings. But you did it, and did it well. You inspired me to keep my linen closet organized, make time for special Valentines Day heart shaped pancakes, and grocery shop on a budget because if you could do it I sure could!
Seriously Kate, if you say "I just have to do what's best for my kids" one more time while giving off puppy dog eyes I will smack you. Acting like you're so sad and speaking quietly into the camera just isn't working for you. You have an army of Mom's who felt empowered by your no-nonsence existence. You are a tough Bitch. So please make a list of why you can be an amazing Mom and the next time someone asks you how you do it, tell em the truth. "You put on your Mom jeans and deal, now back off because I've got eight organic lunches to pack."
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Hot Mom's Can Suck It
I am all about putting your best foot forward. I love a good mani-pedi as much as the next girl and have been known to spend a fortune on my hair. And I do this for me. I do it to relax, to have some girl time, and to remind myself that just because I never pee alone, I am still a woman and not just a Mom. But recently I have been noticing the dwindling number of sweat pants represented in the pre-school pick up line. There are fewer ponytails and more highlights. Hmmmm. What's going on? It seems there has been a shift of expectations for Moms, and I can't help but wonder what the heck happened?
It's the Hot Mom Phenomenon. And I hate it. Over the last several years pop culture has decided that being a Mom just isn't enough. Nope. Now you have to look good doing it. Yes, even after all night with a colicky baby. Yes, after a marathon flu bout in the house. And Yes, even after giving birth. My Mom wore hirachi's and knit shorts she sewed herself (yup) pulled up to her boobs, and nobody looked at her twice! Gramma could go to the grocery store with curlers, a house coat and slippers. I want a break too! I want to wipe spit up off my shoulder, grab a headband and still have the cashier smile at me. But living with Hot Mom Phenomenon seeping into cultural expectations means the cashier lady is going to tell herself no matter what she'll be a MILF and avert my eye contact.
Ugh. These days I seem to be the minority. I still look good when I want to, and no one can do a five minute face as well as I, but I want to be recognized for the the important stuff I do FIRST. And if I can also manage to look good a few days a week, well, that should be a bonus. Can we just give each other a break and agree that yoga pants are almost as good as regular pants? Because even if you are a "Hot Mom" you're not fooling me. I know what you have to give up (sleep) to blow dry in the morning. So when you see au-natural-with-a-side-of-spit-up-Mom, please remember you don't have to be hot to rock this job. Oh and Hot Mom's.... you can suck it.
It's the Hot Mom Phenomenon. And I hate it. Over the last several years pop culture has decided that being a Mom just isn't enough. Nope. Now you have to look good doing it. Yes, even after all night with a colicky baby. Yes, after a marathon flu bout in the house. And Yes, even after giving birth. My Mom wore hirachi's and knit shorts she sewed herself (yup) pulled up to her boobs, and nobody looked at her twice! Gramma could go to the grocery store with curlers, a house coat and slippers. I want a break too! I want to wipe spit up off my shoulder, grab a headband and still have the cashier smile at me. But living with Hot Mom Phenomenon seeping into cultural expectations means the cashier lady is going to tell herself no matter what she'll be a MILF and avert my eye contact.
Ugh. These days I seem to be the minority. I still look good when I want to, and no one can do a five minute face as well as I, but I want to be recognized for the the important stuff I do FIRST. And if I can also manage to look good a few days a week, well, that should be a bonus. Can we just give each other a break and agree that yoga pants are almost as good as regular pants? Because even if you are a "Hot Mom" you're not fooling me. I know what you have to give up (sleep) to blow dry in the morning. So when you see au-natural-with-a-side-of-spit-up-Mom, please remember you don't have to be hot to rock this job. Oh and Hot Mom's.... you can suck it.
Mom to New Mom
You had a baby and congratulations are in order! I really do wish you many congrats... but here's the deal: there are also a LOT of other things I want to tell you, New Mommy. And some of them you may not want to hear. If you have just had your first kid it would save all of us "seasoned" mothers a bit of heartache if you could just accept what I am going to boldly say. It doesn't mean we don't love you or your new baby, just that we only have a limited supply of patience... most of which is allotted to our children. So tuck this away, and if it feels harsh, try to remember it takes a true friend to tell you the hard truth.
*I get it, you're obsessed. But I'm not, so while you are only going to want to talk about your baby, try to remember to ask me how my day is. Because then I will want to call you again and believe me, you're gonna need my listening ear and sage advise.
*Even though you are new at this, your's is not the first baby to smile early/suck their thumb/respond to your voice. And no it does NOT mean it will be a genius.
*If you say "Isn't she the cutest baby you've ever seen?" to another Mom the truthful answer is no. The cutest baby a Mom has ever seen is her own, not yours.
*You're going to get lots of advise, and while you don't have to take it all, listen! Mom's can't resist passing on the oral tradition of "things you never knew you needed to know" and these little nuggets of wisdom may save your ass at two am.
*There will come a time when, no matter how insightful a Mother you have become in 7 weeks, your child will be inconsolable. They will cry for what seems like a life time. It sucks.
*Your entire day revolves around feeding them, getting them to sleep, keeping track of their poops and doing endless piles of laundry. Unfortunately no, it does not change... until they go to college.
*Functionality really is more important than aesthetics. No really, it is. Put down the butterfly burp cloth and pick up the cloth diaper.... now. Your cute top you can finally fit in will thank me.
*No you will never sleep like you did before. Ever again. (But you will not mind as much as you think you will).
*When you tell us your philosophy about baby wearing/sleep theory/discipline we all try to be polite, but as soon as you walk away we say "Well what are you gonna do? It's her first. She'll figure it out eventually."
As a new Mom you are given a lot of slack by those-of-us-who-think-we-know-better to figure it out on your own. We want you to be great, and you have to struggle a bit to feel that confidence. So in the meantime, respect those who have come before, let them help, and try to enjoy the rocky road to experience. Pretty soon you'll be the one passing out the wisdom nuggets.
*I get it, you're obsessed. But I'm not, so while you are only going to want to talk about your baby, try to remember to ask me how my day is. Because then I will want to call you again and believe me, you're gonna need my listening ear and sage advise.
*Even though you are new at this, your's is not the first baby to smile early/suck their thumb/respond to your voice. And no it does NOT mean it will be a genius.
*If you say "Isn't she the cutest baby you've ever seen?" to another Mom the truthful answer is no. The cutest baby a Mom has ever seen is her own, not yours.
*You're going to get lots of advise, and while you don't have to take it all, listen! Mom's can't resist passing on the oral tradition of "things you never knew you needed to know" and these little nuggets of wisdom may save your ass at two am.
*There will come a time when, no matter how insightful a Mother you have become in 7 weeks, your child will be inconsolable. They will cry for what seems like a life time. It sucks.
*Your entire day revolves around feeding them, getting them to sleep, keeping track of their poops and doing endless piles of laundry. Unfortunately no, it does not change... until they go to college.
*Functionality really is more important than aesthetics. No really, it is. Put down the butterfly burp cloth and pick up the cloth diaper.... now. Your cute top you can finally fit in will thank me.
*No you will never sleep like you did before. Ever again. (But you will not mind as much as you think you will).
*When you tell us your philosophy about baby wearing/sleep theory/discipline we all try to be polite, but as soon as you walk away we say "Well what are you gonna do? It's her first. She'll figure it out eventually."
As a new Mom you are given a lot of slack by those-of-us-who-think-we-know-better to figure it out on your own. We want you to be great, and you have to struggle a bit to feel that confidence. So in the meantime, respect those who have come before, let them help, and try to enjoy the rocky road to experience. Pretty soon you'll be the one passing out the wisdom nuggets.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Really? Really. Really?
I can't believe I have to revisit this topic already, but apparently some of you did not take "Tell Me Lies" to heart. So in true Mom form we're going to have to discuss this a little more thoroughly. I was chatting with my lovely baby sister who is expecting her first bundle of responsibility...err joy... and despite the fact that she is the cutest, tiniest pregnant lady you've ever seen, someone actually asked her if she was having twins. Whaaa? She seriously looks like I did at 20 weeks... but she's eight months and glowing! I, being the biggest preggo lady you've ever seen, was shocked! I thought it was just me. But no. Apparently stupid comments are also made to the cute mama's to be. So I just had to make a list (you know how I love me a good list) of things never to say to a pregnant lady.... unless you WANT to get slapped. I included a few of my favorite comebacks for you. Please use generously!
* "Oh my gosh you've gotten so big since I saw you last!"
OMG you too!
* "Aren't you scared it'll hurt to deliver?"
Well I was really just enjoying being pregnant, but thanks, now I AM scared. Anxiety is really bad for my baby.... so really thanks sooo much.
* "What if you tear?"
Holy Crap! Shut up you evil woman!
* "Don't you just hate how frumpy maternity clothes are?"
Man I thought I was looking pretty good today, but I see you shop in the shlump-a-dump department too.
* "You look like you're having a girl/boy because you're so big/have bad skin/have greasy hair."
Well I wont be pregnant forever and will be back to my beautiful self soon enough. What's your solution?
* "You should eat almonds/salmon/leeks (or any food other than dill pickle potato chips and M&M's) because it's good for the baby."
Well my Dr. told me to eat ice cream and chocolate croissants exclusively. Weird, I haven't heard anything about almonds/salmon/leeks.
* "Are you going to breastfeed/bottle feed? Because breastfeeding/bottle feeding is the only good choice."
My baby wont starve, so how does this affect your life?
* "I hope it doesn't get your nose/ears/figure."
As long as it gets my witty demeanor and smart mouth!
I can't believe I have to say it again, so listen up all you nosy nuisances! Think before you speak. And if you must say ANY thing, please say something nice. Otherwise, watch your six because you'll have two hormonal sisters who may or may not be expecting twins coming at you.
* "Oh my gosh you've gotten so big since I saw you last!"
OMG you too!
* "Aren't you scared it'll hurt to deliver?"
Well I was really just enjoying being pregnant, but thanks, now I AM scared. Anxiety is really bad for my baby.... so really thanks sooo much.
* "What if you tear?"
Holy Crap! Shut up you evil woman!
* "Don't you just hate how frumpy maternity clothes are?"
Man I thought I was looking pretty good today, but I see you shop in the shlump-a-dump department too.
* "You look like you're having a girl/boy because you're so big/have bad skin/have greasy hair."
Well I wont be pregnant forever and will be back to my beautiful self soon enough. What's your solution?
* "You should eat almonds/salmon/leeks (or any food other than dill pickle potato chips and M&M's) because it's good for the baby."
Well my Dr. told me to eat ice cream and chocolate croissants exclusively. Weird, I haven't heard anything about almonds/salmon/leeks.
* "Are you going to breastfeed/bottle feed? Because breastfeeding/bottle feeding is the only good choice."
My baby wont starve, so how does this affect your life?
* "I hope it doesn't get your nose/ears/figure."
As long as it gets my witty demeanor and smart mouth!
I can't believe I have to say it again, so listen up all you nosy nuisances! Think before you speak. And if you must say ANY thing, please say something nice. Otherwise, watch your six because you'll have two hormonal sisters who may or may not be expecting twins coming at you.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The Mafia
If you see two Mom's pass each other in an aisle at the grocery store, you may notice a shared look. A nod, perhaps even a quick hello, but almost always a point of acknowledgement. It's sorta like a secret handshake, except without the germs. What's that about you may wonder? Some sort of secret club? Well you'd be right, it's the Motherhood Mafia. You know the mom's who may or may not have a minivan, say things like "because I said so" and "well, life isn't fair" without batting an eye? In the mafia. The one's who make compassionate eye contact when your kid is throwing a fit in Target as if to say "Don't worry. We've all been there." Totally in.
Recognized only by other Mom's, the Motherhood Mafia is not for the faint of heart. Once you're in, you're in for life. Iniation is not pretty. So to make it easy for you to decide if you belong to this not so exclusive group of goldfish-cracker-slinging, wipe-carring, frazzled bad-asses, I made a check list. If you can answer yes to two or more, you're in.
*You have been pooped on. Counts as two if it was a neck up situation.
*You can isolate your child's cries in a room full of screamers.
*You have been barfed on. And no spit up doesn't count.
*You consider going that third day without a shower in exchange for 10 extra minutes of sleep. Seriously.
*Purse? Uh no... diaper bag.
*You consider ponytail and tinted moisturizer "hair and makeup ready."
*You have fed your child mac-n-cheese/dinosaur chicken nuggets/PB&J for more than a week straight. For. Every. Meal.
*Public temper tantrum. Nuff said.
*You don't own bandaids that are character free, and have sent your hubby to work with my little pony on his neck.
*You have cleaned poo off a wall.
*You have peed while holding a child.
*You know the perfect mom, and kinda hate her. (It's ok, the mafia does too.)
*You can not function without coffee/diet coke/caffeine IV.
If you can't answer yes to two of these yet, you are either still pregnant or have the perfect child. In which case... give it a couple of weeks. Otherwise welcome to the Motherhood Mafia. Slogan: the hours are long, and the pay sucks, but the benefits rock. Lifetime membership guaranteed.
Recognized only by other Mom's, the Motherhood Mafia is not for the faint of heart. Once you're in, you're in for life. Iniation is not pretty. So to make it easy for you to decide if you belong to this not so exclusive group of goldfish-cracker-slinging, wipe-carring, frazzled bad-asses, I made a check list. If you can answer yes to two or more, you're in.
*You have been pooped on. Counts as two if it was a neck up situation.
*You can isolate your child's cries in a room full of screamers.
*You have been barfed on. And no spit up doesn't count.
*You consider going that third day without a shower in exchange for 10 extra minutes of sleep. Seriously.
*Purse? Uh no... diaper bag.
*You consider ponytail and tinted moisturizer "hair and makeup ready."
*You have fed your child mac-n-cheese/dinosaur chicken nuggets/PB&J for more than a week straight. For. Every. Meal.
*Public temper tantrum. Nuff said.
*You don't own bandaids that are character free, and have sent your hubby to work with my little pony on his neck.
*You have cleaned poo off a wall.
*You have peed while holding a child.
*You know the perfect mom, and kinda hate her. (It's ok, the mafia does too.)
*You can not function without coffee/diet coke/caffeine IV.
If you can't answer yes to two of these yet, you are either still pregnant or have the perfect child. In which case... give it a couple of weeks. Otherwise welcome to the Motherhood Mafia. Slogan: the hours are long, and the pay sucks, but the benefits rock. Lifetime membership guaranteed.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Tell me Lies... Sweet Little Lies
I may or may not have mentioned (totally have) that I take issue with people talking about the budda. I get it. It's big. I also may or may not have mentioned if you try to touch it I will deck you. Seriously. Why do people think it's ok to rub my belly? Not my family, but total and complete strangers. One in particular who first insulted me by asking if I am expecting twins. Really? Is that really necessary?
*** What I Said ****
No, just 9 months pregnant.
*** What I WISH I Said ***
When are you due? Oh... you're not pregnant...my bad.
So if that wasn't bad enough she then attempted to put her grubby little hands on my belly. Inside my bubble! On my person!
*** What I Said***
Hehe... (awkward ducking of belly behind grocery cart).... hehe...(even more awkward scurrying of pregnant woman pushing grocery cart quickly away from Walmart pariah lady)
***What I WISH I Said***
Dude you were just in the meat aisle, do you have salmalilla? Well I don't know either but you sure as hell didn't have time to wash so BACK OFF.
All I am saying is this. Be nice to pregnant women, LIE to them about how cute they look. Tell them they glow, tell them they are adorable. Tell them their hair has never looked better, it really doesnt matter what you say. Being nice is enough.
Just don't mistake me for Jabba the Hut because I will cut a bitch.
*** What I Said ****
No, just 9 months pregnant.
*** What I WISH I Said ***
When are you due? Oh... you're not pregnant...my bad.
So if that wasn't bad enough she then attempted to put her grubby little hands on my belly. Inside my bubble! On my person!
*** What I Said***
Hehe... (awkward ducking of belly behind grocery cart).... hehe...(even more awkward scurrying of pregnant woman pushing grocery cart quickly away from Walmart pariah lady)
***What I WISH I Said***
Dude you were just in the meat aisle, do you have salmalilla? Well I don't know either but you sure as hell didn't have time to wash so BACK OFF.
All I am saying is this. Be nice to pregnant women, LIE to them about how cute they look. Tell them they glow, tell them they are adorable. Tell them their hair has never looked better, it really doesnt matter what you say. Being nice is enough.
Just don't mistake me for Jabba the Hut because I will cut a bitch.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Spring (Not-So-Much-Of-A) Break
Today is the first day of spring break. And by break, I mean no break at all if you're a SAHM. Now if you are one of the family-vacations-to-some-place-tropical types, best of luck. To me it's the same old same old but with lots of stress keeping an entire family occupied in a small room without childproofing and at least a month of recovery. If you're the stay-at-home-and-try-to-keep-the-kids-occupied type, well welcome to my life. It's a double your work load, go crazy if I have to tell you one more time, loose your mind by Wednesday if I don't get another glass of wine now, week. Let's just say it takes more mental strategy to keep kids busy, and more patience than anyone has.
Any place you would normally take your children to entertain them, will be twice, no make that three times as crowded. The museums will be packed and the the zoo, well it'll be a zoo! Community pools, overflowing. Even your local park will have a line for the swings. This may or may not deter you depending on your tolerance of crowds, but I need a prozac to handle kids elbowing my babies out of the view window at the lions den.
My solution to spring break boredom/insanity is simple.... PLAY DATE! Call the mom's you love, make a batch of mimosa's and let the kids run amok. It's a great way to reconnect and enjoy some adult conversation. The kids can entertain themselves and believe me any SAHM will love the opportunity to break up the monotony of the Spring (Not-So-Much-Of-A) Break.
Any place you would normally take your children to entertain them, will be twice, no make that three times as crowded. The museums will be packed and the the zoo, well it'll be a zoo! Community pools, overflowing. Even your local park will have a line for the swings. This may or may not deter you depending on your tolerance of crowds, but I need a prozac to handle kids elbowing my babies out of the view window at the lions den.
My solution to spring break boredom/insanity is simple.... PLAY DATE! Call the mom's you love, make a batch of mimosa's and let the kids run amok. It's a great way to reconnect and enjoy some adult conversation. The kids can entertain themselves and believe me any SAHM will love the opportunity to break up the monotony of the Spring (Not-So-Much-Of-A) Break.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Those Hippies are on to Something....
People sometimes correlate baby wearing with dippy hippies and granola. But you don't have to wear dreadlocks and have a compost to recognize how awesome baby wearing can be. Your Dr will tell you baby wearing is shown to help with colic, reduce postpartum depression and improve intelligence. Mom's will tell you it's easier than lugging out a big a stroller on a quick errand, you can vacuum without being bothered, and even put a flailing screaming toddler in time out. All this without upsetting the newest addition...aka the tyrannical dictator who has taken over what was once your peaceful kingdom. Having tried almost every baby wearing option out there I thought I'd list a few of my fav styles.
Baby Bjorn
- It's easy to use and adjust, relatively inexpensive, baby can face in or out
Ergo and Becco Butterfly
-Cadillac's of baby wearing, a little more complicated (and spendy), but well worth it. Baby can be worn in front, on your back or hip. Good for big babies, has extra padding!
Moby Wrap and Ring Sling
-The most traditional style, wraps and pouches, allow for front, back, hip positions. Best of all... hands free breastfeeding! Ever tried to discretely feed a newborn at soccer practice/karate class/ballet lessons? Not so easy. But in one of these, add a hooter-hider for extra coverage and you are good. Yeah this why we LOVE these styles. No more creepy Joe eyeballing your side boob, or sitting in a disgusting bathroom stall while baby decides it's time to reeeeeaaaaalllllly enjoy her meal.
Baby wearing has been in the news lately, and not because of how great it is for you and your child. The sad deaths of two newborn baby's got national attention when they were smothered inside pouch slings. I remember shopping for my first and considering the exact style! Yikes. It's no longer sold, and I hope this will not deter Moms and Dad's from wearing their baby. Before you are sucked into the vortex of worry I refer to as "The Fear" remember that people have relied on baby wearing for centuries. Talk yourself off the ledge. It's safe. Embrace your inner earth mother and try a few on for size. Once you know what you like... wear that child! Birkenstocks and patchouli ARE optional.
Baby Bjorn
- It's easy to use and adjust, relatively inexpensive, baby can face in or out
Ergo and Becco Butterfly
-Cadillac's of baby wearing, a little more complicated (and spendy), but well worth it. Baby can be worn in front, on your back or hip. Good for big babies, has extra padding!
Moby Wrap and Ring Sling
-The most traditional style, wraps and pouches, allow for front, back, hip positions. Best of all... hands free breastfeeding! Ever tried to discretely feed a newborn at soccer practice/karate class/ballet lessons? Not so easy. But in one of these, add a hooter-hider for extra coverage and you are good. Yeah this why we LOVE these styles. No more creepy Joe eyeballing your side boob, or sitting in a disgusting bathroom stall while baby decides it's time to reeeeeaaaaalllllly enjoy her meal.
Baby wearing has been in the news lately, and not because of how great it is for you and your child. The sad deaths of two newborn baby's got national attention when they were smothered inside pouch slings. I remember shopping for my first and considering the exact style! Yikes. It's no longer sold, and I hope this will not deter Moms and Dad's from wearing their baby. Before you are sucked into the vortex of worry I refer to as "The Fear" remember that people have relied on baby wearing for centuries. Talk yourself off the ledge. It's safe. Embrace your inner earth mother and try a few on for size. Once you know what you like... wear that child! Birkenstocks and patchouli ARE optional.
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